A Vindication of MySpace

There has been much ado about MySpace and the vulnerability of teenagers to predators lurking there. This is certainly an unfortunate circumstance, but not one that is limited to MySpace. Not by a long shot. Of course, it's easier to blame MySpace than parenting. Especially when for many parents, MySpace is part of the vast Information Revolution, of which the less they know the better they feel.

I would instead like to posit the view of an adult woman who has been fortunate enough to travel and live in many different places. One challenge to having had this lifestyle, however, is all the disparate threads that tie you to those places. For instance, I Skype daily with Amity. Daily, or pretty close. She lives in Maine. I haven't lived in Maine in 7 years. But we're that close. On my MSN Messenger Contact List, I have friends from Washington State to Maine and from England to Peru.

Likewise, the virtual metropolis of MySpace helps stitch these threads into the fabric of the greater communications network. The GREATEST communications network. There's no limit to it. And once you tap in, you connect to people you know, who connect to people you know, and so on, until your threads tighten into the gorgeous tapestry that is your life. And fittingly, the richness of that cloth depends precisely upon what you weave into it.

I'm ruminating on MySpace because it has come through for me once again, gentle loom. First it started as a lark with the Rat Pack, we all had profiles and left comments about the pictures of our crazy nights out drinking outside Chicago. But soon I began connecting to people from Rhode Island, Maine, Iowa. Of the many truly delightful connections, I reunited with Shannon, a close friend through grades 7-12 who nearly vanished after high school. We hadn't spoken in 10 years when we reconnected through a mutual friend from high school on MySpace. And that's just one example. I could go on.

But the one reconnection that has had me reeling this week is Matt, a good friend and former classmate in English from college. He's married, has two boys. His wife, my friend Amy, is dying of cancer. Imminently. I was at their wedding 10 years ago, took their pictures. Enjoyed many a dinner party and poetry discussion with them. I met Amy when she was in her pajamas in Dorward Hall. She is a complete sparkplug. Everything that word connotes in a girl.

And that's really it. My good friend Matt, with whom I'd lost touch after my bitter exodus from Maine, found me through MySpace in time to reach out. He and Amy are one of the threads that's pulling me home. From emailing I knew Amy was sick, but Matt called me on Monday to tell me how she's turned. I told Matt I'd like to come up and visit if Amy is up for it. I had invited the whole family to come to RI, and I reminded him the invitation was still good. He said, yeah. But for after . . . Because it is that close.

So you see, I get to say goodbye to a dear friend. For though she's somewhat long-lost, Amy is dear to me. She adopts pugs and cats with feline leukemia. She graduated from NYU's School of Social Work and came to Downeast Maine to be with the poet she loves. She is a militant vegetarian, in the absolute cutest way. She even got me to eat soy bacon. And like it. She loves her boys. And it all just doesn't seem possible.

Without MySpace, this thread would have been lost. So so SO many of the threads in my life would be lost without this technology, be it MSN, MySpace, Flickr, Skype, even Blogger. To the few of you who read this blog, we have a thread. And maybe that matters. I know that when I read on Susan Miller's horoscope blog (see links to the right) that her "Little Mom" was dying, I was gripped and saddened. I sent an email of condolences. Yes, I'm a dork, but I read that woman's work faithfully. I care about what happens to her.

I sense sometimes that some people scoff at the idea of virtual communities. But the thing is, it's not the connections between the people that are virtual. There's nothing virtual about the "virtual" world. It's now more real than reality sometimes. It's certainly as mundane a part of reality as is reality, isn't it? But the reality is that my friend Amy is dying. And out of a "virtual" space came a connection that yielded something that is beyond real.