The Other Side of the Line

I've become one of those women I used to hate.

In Chicago in the midst of my 20's, I used to meet women just the other side of 30. And they always had this condescending attitude, like I was just SO young. I can remember railing against it more than a few times.

Well, I'm doing it now.

What was only last summer the first side of 30 has now shifted this year to the other. I'm not quite 30, yes, but I'm a year ahead from having skipped a grade. Everyone's turning 30 this year.

And it's different. In fairness, my life is vastly different than it was just a year ago. So maybe it's just the difference, but when I see girls just a bit younger than me, it feels like an eternity. I was 25 when I left Iowa, and it's been four very full years.

So maybe it's not being bitchy, which is what I always thought was going on with those girls. But the difference is that I was still living away from home, dating and partying. They had drama, families nearby, and fiances and careers. While I was living there, I had two cats and some girlfriends. Here, I have family, immediate and extended; and still four part-time jobs, just like there. Plus the beach house has a ton of traffic, being that it's summertime and the ocean is RIGHT there. And I still have the cats and the girlfriends. There's just more going on.

Perhaps it is the changes. Perhaps this line is just psychological. But I've felt it now, from both sides. And realistically, I have crossed a line. I'm home. I never knew that I would do this. But I did it. And I knew that as I did it, I'd know it was the right decision. And maybe that was the line, not due to the arbitrary 29/30 distinction, but one that was there because I was ready to cross it. In my 20's I made my own way. But now, I make decisions in the context of other people besides myself. It's good practice, and it's part of growing up.

So I need to remember that, especially when talking to girls "in their 20's." The 20's is a state of mind. The Roaring Twenties. It's also the most confusing time, and so defining. Everything you do for the rest of your life as an adult starts there, in those heady times, when it's so hard to see the bigger picture as you're swirling around in it. You need empathy in your 20's, not judgement or worse, contempt.

Well, there you go. I'm still that girl, just through the lens of someone I now understand just a little bit more.