Don't Get Between Mama and Her Food

Random List of Ways I’ve Gone a Little Crazy with the Hormones: Part 1

Aaron learned this the hard way when I stayed on the phone too long with Kristen and failed to eat in a timely manner. I sat in the parking lot of KFC chatting and smelling the fried chicken. In the meantime, my blood sugar tanked. It has a habit of doing that anyway, but since getting pregnant it happens even faster. I go from fine to feral in under 60 seconds.

So I got the extra crispy, headed back home and devoured it. Now, Aaron wasn’t supposed to be home, having had plans to watch a Premier League Soccer game with the guys. But one of them forgot to DVR it, and he had, so the party moved to our house. The guys hadn’t arrived yet, and Aaron made the rookie mistake of hoping for me to share. Yeah, not in this lifetime.

I told him I’d try to save him some, but I ate every last finger-lickin’ bite of that chicken. At one point, I set down the breast to scarf some mashed potatoes and green beans. He reached for the chicken. I slapped his hand.

It wasn’t all bad though. I only made it through one of the two apple turnovers, so I gave him the other one. I wasn’t trying to be stingy, but I swear I had de-evolved as a result of my now-dangerous low blood sugar. Vicki Iovine talks in “The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy” about how she and her husband had to establish a when she was “Rational Vicki” and “Feral Vicki”. After I read that, I laughed out lout and told Aaron about it, promising him that when “Feral Jessica” takes over, he’ll get fair warning. I also advised him to plan on getting his own damn chicken for the duration of this pregnancy.