Forgive Yourself

I really hated missing all of my favorite things, but I started to learn to compromise.

I don’t care if it sounds selfish, or if you think I am. It’s not, and I’m not. I’m telling you this so that you don’t feel guilty too if you feel selfish, like I did those first few weeks. I felt selfish, then hated myself for feeling selfish, then hated myself even more for beating up on myself for what’s honestly a very normal reaction.

After all, my body has been my own for nearly 30 years, to do with it what I pleased, good, bad, or otherwise. It’s not any longer. I need a lot of sleep. I’m hungry quite often and I’ve gotten fat already. I don’t have the energy to go and go and go like I always have. I’m growing a baby in here now, and it’s growing faster than I could have ever imagined. Between April 9 and April 22, it nearly doubled in size. No wonder I need 10-12 hours of sleep a day.

Taking it easier on myself is making all the difference. I’m going to be a good mother, even if I spent the third month of my pregnancy freaking the fuck OUT about what I’d gotten myself into. But I realize that being stressed out about the baby is putting undue stress on the little critter, and it has enough to worry about right now with developing into a strong and healthy person.