3.30.2009

Ride at the Indiana State Fair, 2005


004_3 ride.jpg, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

My roommate Dustin had tickets to see Reba McEntire at the Indiana State Fair during the summer of 2005. Up for anything, I decided to join him, and we road-tripped from Evanston to Indianapolis. Considering I'm not much of a country music fan, I actually really enjoyed Reba's performance. And I managed to shoot some of the scenes around the Midway itself.

3.27.2009

Flip Video Snapshot


005 surprised, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

Santa gave me a Flip camera for Christmas. I shot a video of Annika and me in the mirror in the hall on January 10. She was 2 months old. The camera's great, but the date is one year behind (so everything is coded 2008 instead of 2009). I then pulled snapshot stills out of the videos.

I would have devoured this thing in grad school in 2001 or 2002.

The best part is that I have precious few images of Annika and me together, but I was able to make some here. I need to get better about making sure pictures get taken.

Mirror, Wall, & Stairs


001 Ringu, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

There's a spookiness I like about this, like something out of the video in "The Ring"

Eventually It Sinks In

Tonight I can say I get it. The economy is grinding to a halt. It's really bad. And I finally get it.

At work we call it the drip method: hear the same thing over and over again, eventually it sinks in. Drip. Drip. Drip. Oh, I think the roof is leaking. Drip. Drip.

I hear it on CNN, I hear about it at work, I talk about it with family and friends. But all of a sudden, I'm on a different level with it. Like all those anecdotes and statistics have finally penetrated the outer layers. Unemployment is rising. Credit is at a standstill. Money is not flowing. People are not spending. Drip. Drip.

Now that I understand that the roof is leaking, actually leaking, I'm afraid. How bad is the damage? How much worse is it going to get before it starts to get better?

As a kid, I remember being afraid of war. As an adult, I'm afraid of another Great Depression. Not that war doesn't still scare me, but it's only ever slaughtered the economy, not my family, before my very eyes.

In 30 years, I've seen a few economic peaks and valleys. During the peaks, we forget the valleys. But in the valleys, we long for the peaks. It didn't take long to descend into this current valley --- it was so fast, in fact, that I think that's why I've been disoriented. And denial is a funny thing. We think it's not going to touch us. But our global economy is too linked. It affects us all.

So, to paraphrase an old Saturday Night Live bit, "hear me now and listen to me later". We're in the shit. At this point we can only hope it won't take too long, or take too many of us out, before it starts to get better again.

3.26.2009

Bright Eyes, sharper

Bright Eyes, sharper

The first one wasn't in focus. I took so many similar shots it got
confusing. :)

Tough Guy

Tough Guy

She knows how to use that fist.

Annika 3/4 profile

Annika 3/4 profile

Or thereabouts

3.23.2009

Cat & Kid 4


Cat & Kid 4, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

I can't leave this picture alone. Here it's cropped to truer square proportions, and the exposure is a little less warmed up. I need to print these to see how they really compare, as I'm sure the monitor is off.

3.22.2009

Bright Eyes


Bright Eyes, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

4 months old

Cat & Kid 3


Cat & Kid 3, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

Edited

Cat & Kid 2


Cat & Kid 2, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

This sort of works.

Cat & Kid


Cat & Kid, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

Needs cropping?

Annika profile


Annika profile, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

4 months old

Annika in Santa pajamas


Annika in Santa pajamas, originally uploaded by jessica_beagan.

Age 4 months

3.19.2009

Pink Jedi

Annika @ 4 months in her own version of the Jedi cloak.

Ichiban & Annika

In Mom & Dad's bed this morning.  Annika petted the cat for the first time the other day.  It's hard to tell which of them enjoyed it more.

3.17.2009

Hey There!

Kelly --  I'm going through my inbox & realize I didn't write you back.  How are things?  Life is growing happily: crocuses in the yard, Annika turning 4 months old.  We're excited for spring.  Starting a new class in 2 weeks, teaching Intro to Arts.  Hope you are well!  Write when u can.  I'll post new pix of the kid soon.  Maybe videos.  If I can figure it out.  :)

3.11.2009

Correspondence, 4 months after

Below is my reply to an email from one of my best friends, who is just a few weeks from delivering her first child. We've gone through everything together since college, including pregnancy. She emailed me to tell me that found out she passed her blood glucose test. This is one of the most personal blog posts I've ever posted, which is why I'm posting it. I almost didn't. I wrote these words to someone to whom I'm alot closer than the audience to which I speak when I write for Icon. And that gave me pause. But I also thought it was both honest and personal. So here it is.


That's good news, honey, despite the track marks. Don't worry, it's good practice for the IV you might get during the delivery. ;) In all seriousness, I can empathize. And the best part is that you don't have to be wracked with guilt every time you eat a Snickers, like I was. You know my sweet tooth. Gestational diabetes was a pisser for me.

The best news is that you are past all the scary tests now. The kid's neck isn't too thick and all the fluids are where they belong and you don't have the sugar. So all you need to do is fatten up the little Bug for the next few weeks and get ready to crack yourself open and let her out.

I hope that doesn't sound awful, but now that I'm nearly 4 months post-partum, I have to say that's what it feels like in retrospect. Like I opened myself up wider than I ever imagined possible, literally and figuratively, and this amazing little critter came out. The best thing is being healed. You'll have a recovery time, after which you'll look back and realize only in retrospect that you were off your game during that time.

So I think that's what your midwife means about relaxing. Especially since you're going hypno. Start meditating now. Everything else is all good, and it's time to get ready for the final push ;)

This is something that I've been wanting to write about. And I might blog it. I hope it doesn't sound too preachy. It's just where I'm at since having Annika. And I remember during and after the recovery if I would ever feel "normal" again. I feel different, and I feel good. So I guess it's the new normal.

Anyway, keep rockin' the sweets. We have a Borrelli's cake my dad brought up today. Like I need this shit. I'm trying to get back into my spring clothes! Thank God I'll be able to get out in the yard and start getting some exercise soon. And take walks.

I love you sweetie. Talk to you soon.

3.06.2009

Elmo Cool J

Annika is watching Sesame Street. LL Cool J is on a singing "addition expedition" with Elmo, teaching kids how to add. At the end they decided to be friends, and Mr. J gave Elmo a hug. It was adorable. A far cry from "I Need Love" or "Mama Said Knock You Out", but somehow it was perfect. Like it's a perfectly natural progression to see such a duet.