Great big glass of milk
and Brown Sugar Cinnamon
Pop Tarts. Good morning.
2.28.2007
2.26.2007
The Girls at Lunch
My darlings Pats and Azeiba with me at Francesca's, August 2006. We're at the best table, right in front. We are sooooooooo regulars there :)
Snow over the Northeast United States
Back home. My beautiful New England. Thanks to Amity for sharing.
2.25.2007
And the Oscar Goes to . . .
Staying up later than I ought to so I can see the 79th Annual Academy Awards.
Some thoughts:
*The Red Carpet was underwhelming. Too much safe (read boring) fashion. My choice for Worst Dressed has to be Cameron Diaz (yet again) who had on really pretty emerald drop earrings. And that's it. Her white dress looked like a damned 80's prom dress: a bad blocky neckline and unnecessary asymmetry that showed off shoes that looked like something made by Dyeables.
And can I say I just can't handle two hours of Ryan Seacrest, Jay Manuel, and Guiliana DePandi on E for the Red Carpet. However, considering Joan Rivers was the only alternative, I sucked it up. Fashion and cinema are major industries AND topics of serious discourse. Why can we not have more intelligent commentary and less of the sycophantic bitchiness on the Red Carpet? Watching those clowns is as bad as the middle-school-bathroom gossips who suck up to the popular kids and then snark behind their backs. GET OVER YOURSELVES!
*And now, for an attempt at some intelligent fashion commentary with just a HINT of snark. There were a couple decent looks out on the Red Carpet, which became much more palatable once I muted the commentary.
***Rachel Weisz was near-perfect in Vera Wang, but she forgot the age-old adage that you should always remove at least ONE thing (in this case the gorgeous vintage Cartier necklace that was just too much with the jeweled neckline of her gown).
***Cate Blanchett, who always looks effortlessly smashing, and
***Gwyneth Paltrow in Zac Posen. She redeemed herself after the sadistic bodice on her gown last year, which made it look like she and her breasts were in a major feud. And the breasts were losing.
*My favorite favorite though was Reese Witherspoon, who is finally getting over the goody-two-shoes-Southern-wife-and-mother-crap now that she's about to be single. I like the sexy. Bring the sexy. Speaking of the sexy, I predict a hot steamy affair both on- AND off-screen for Ms. W before long. Wait for it.
*Speaking of sexy, the sexiest sexagenarian EVER has to be Helen Mirren. I want to look that good at FORTY, forget my mid-60's.
*Borat, the most important film of the year, got robbed of the one stinking award, Best Adapted Screenplay, for which it was nominated. Praise to the Golden Globes for giving the film the recognition it deserves.
*An Inconvenient Truth, the other most important film of the year, WON BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE, BABY! I've showed it to like 9 different classes already, and counting. Good as Dreamgirls' songs were, it was also pretty damn cool to see Melissa Etheridge win the Best Original Song award for the film as well.
*Since it won nearly everything else, I was surprised when Pan's Labyrinth didn't win best Foreign Film.
*Speaking of Best Foreign Films, I cried during the montage when they showed the clip from Todo Sobre Mi Madre (All About my Mother), my favorite film by Pedro Almodovar. Watch it and you'll know why. Three words: "mi hijo, Esteban" and I LOST it.
*The Pilobilus Dance Troupe, who acted out the Best Picture nominees from behind the backlit cyclorama screen, was fun.
*For its themes of the universality of the human condition and the idea that as humans we are all the same despite cultural differences, I will be using Babel in my Humanities classes.
*Jennifer Hudson's Best Supporting Actress trifecta (Globes, SAGs, Oscars) just goes to show that the American public, who voted her off American Idol, is really friggin' clueless. Seriously. I hate American Idol anyway (see above for the anti-Seacrest rant, for example), and this just goes to show it. That woman can SING. Oh, and she can act too. She totally outperformed Beyonce when they sang at the Academy Awards, but I fear that in our skinny-lovin' culture she will never have the success Beyonce enjoys, despite outshining her vocally a thousand to one. My grandfather always said the same thing happened to Roy Orbison, who was far more talented but not nearly as attractive to the ladies as was his contemporary Elvis Presley. Time will tell.
*I need to see it before I pass judgement, but I think The Departed might have been slightly overrated in getting both Best Director AND Best Picture. I like the message of Babel much better. But then again, Crash won Best Picture last year and Global Warming was the hot issue this year, so perhaps it was just too much message for one year.
*Best Actor and Best Actress both went to individuals who portrayed royalty. Discuss.
*So happy that Forest Whitaker won Best Actor for portraying Idi Amin, but I doubt that anyone saw the movie, and that even fewer people can find Uganda on a map. Hint: It's in Africa, slightly right of center, bordering on Sudan to the south and west of Kenya. FYI.
Some thoughts:
*The Red Carpet was underwhelming. Too much safe (read boring) fashion. My choice for Worst Dressed has to be Cameron Diaz (yet again) who had on really pretty emerald drop earrings. And that's it. Her white dress looked like a damned 80's prom dress: a bad blocky neckline and unnecessary asymmetry that showed off shoes that looked like something made by Dyeables.
And can I say I just can't handle two hours of Ryan Seacrest, Jay Manuel, and Guiliana DePandi on E for the Red Carpet. However, considering Joan Rivers was the only alternative, I sucked it up. Fashion and cinema are major industries AND topics of serious discourse. Why can we not have more intelligent commentary and less of the sycophantic bitchiness on the Red Carpet? Watching those clowns is as bad as the middle-school-bathroom gossips who suck up to the popular kids and then snark behind their backs. GET OVER YOURSELVES!
*And now, for an attempt at some intelligent fashion commentary with just a HINT of snark. There were a couple decent looks out on the Red Carpet, which became much more palatable once I muted the commentary.
***Rachel Weisz was near-perfect in Vera Wang, but she forgot the age-old adage that you should always remove at least ONE thing (in this case the gorgeous vintage Cartier necklace that was just too much with the jeweled neckline of her gown).
***Cate Blanchett, who always looks effortlessly smashing, and
***Gwyneth Paltrow in Zac Posen. She redeemed herself after the sadistic bodice on her gown last year, which made it look like she and her breasts were in a major feud. And the breasts were losing.
*My favorite favorite though was Reese Witherspoon, who is finally getting over the goody-two-shoes-Southern-wife-and-mother-crap now that she's about to be single. I like the sexy. Bring the sexy. Speaking of the sexy, I predict a hot steamy affair both on- AND off-screen for Ms. W before long. Wait for it.
*Speaking of sexy, the sexiest sexagenarian EVER has to be Helen Mirren. I want to look that good at FORTY, forget my mid-60's.
*Borat, the most important film of the year, got robbed of the one stinking award, Best Adapted Screenplay, for which it was nominated. Praise to the Golden Globes for giving the film the recognition it deserves.
*An Inconvenient Truth, the other most important film of the year, WON BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE, BABY! I've showed it to like 9 different classes already, and counting. Good as Dreamgirls' songs were, it was also pretty damn cool to see Melissa Etheridge win the Best Original Song award for the film as well.
*Since it won nearly everything else, I was surprised when Pan's Labyrinth didn't win best Foreign Film.
*Speaking of Best Foreign Films, I cried during the montage when they showed the clip from Todo Sobre Mi Madre (All About my Mother), my favorite film by Pedro Almodovar. Watch it and you'll know why. Three words: "mi hijo, Esteban" and I LOST it.
*The Pilobilus Dance Troupe, who acted out the Best Picture nominees from behind the backlit cyclorama screen, was fun.
*For its themes of the universality of the human condition and the idea that as humans we are all the same despite cultural differences, I will be using Babel in my Humanities classes.
*Jennifer Hudson's Best Supporting Actress trifecta (Globes, SAGs, Oscars) just goes to show that the American public, who voted her off American Idol, is really friggin' clueless. Seriously. I hate American Idol anyway (see above for the anti-Seacrest rant, for example), and this just goes to show it. That woman can SING. Oh, and she can act too. She totally outperformed Beyonce when they sang at the Academy Awards, but I fear that in our skinny-lovin' culture she will never have the success Beyonce enjoys, despite outshining her vocally a thousand to one. My grandfather always said the same thing happened to Roy Orbison, who was far more talented but not nearly as attractive to the ladies as was his contemporary Elvis Presley. Time will tell.
*I need to see it before I pass judgement, but I think The Departed might have been slightly overrated in getting both Best Director AND Best Picture. I like the message of Babel much better. But then again, Crash won Best Picture last year and Global Warming was the hot issue this year, so perhaps it was just too much message for one year.
*Best Actor and Best Actress both went to individuals who portrayed royalty. Discuss.
*So happy that Forest Whitaker won Best Actor for portraying Idi Amin, but I doubt that anyone saw the movie, and that even fewer people can find Uganda on a map. Hint: It's in Africa, slightly right of center, bordering on Sudan to the south and west of Kenya. FYI.
A Tough Decision
At some point, something has to give. That's what they say, isn't it?
So tonight, what gives? It's a decision with which I have been struggling for a lot longer than I've wanted to admit. I'm withdrawing from my doctoral program.
This is not a decision I have made lightly. I hate quitting this. But you know what, I just don't need it. My teaching Humanities, albeit as an adjunct, is the most rewarding thing I could have ever imagined doing. And I'm doing it. A doctoral degree, like the Ed.D., isn't a bad thing to have. But I don't want to be an administrator, and I don't want to teach education.
Plus, time is a finite resource. I'm approaching my thirtieth birthday, and I'm learning that I still have lots of time, but I don't have forever. So what do I want to do with my time? As much as I'd like to be Dr. Beagan (and may yet still become Dr. Beagan), right now, I want to use my 24/7 for teaching, traveling, writing, and photography.
And I still have a way to go in my career. I want a full-time job, and I might even pursue the tenure track. But it will be as a Humanities instructor. And I don't think I need an Ed.D. for that. Again, maybe another doctoral degree, in another place and time. But for now, there is other work to do.
So I have decided. I feel good. I feel guilty, because I always feel guilty. But it's the right choice for me. And so it is.
Of course, I have not withdrawn yet. I have until March 9. A week from Friday. So you know, stay tuned.
So tonight, what gives? It's a decision with which I have been struggling for a lot longer than I've wanted to admit. I'm withdrawing from my doctoral program.
This is not a decision I have made lightly. I hate quitting this. But you know what, I just don't need it. My teaching Humanities, albeit as an adjunct, is the most rewarding thing I could have ever imagined doing. And I'm doing it. A doctoral degree, like the Ed.D., isn't a bad thing to have. But I don't want to be an administrator, and I don't want to teach education.
Plus, time is a finite resource. I'm approaching my thirtieth birthday, and I'm learning that I still have lots of time, but I don't have forever. So what do I want to do with my time? As much as I'd like to be Dr. Beagan (and may yet still become Dr. Beagan), right now, I want to use my 24/7 for teaching, traveling, writing, and photography.
And I still have a way to go in my career. I want a full-time job, and I might even pursue the tenure track. But it will be as a Humanities instructor. And I don't think I need an Ed.D. for that. Again, maybe another doctoral degree, in another place and time. But for now, there is other work to do.
So I have decided. I feel good. I feel guilty, because I always feel guilty. But it's the right choice for me. And so it is.
Of course, I have not withdrawn yet. I have until March 9. A week from Friday. So you know, stay tuned.
Wintery Weekend
A nasty winter storm has been toying with the Chicagoland area for the last couple days, so Pats and I decided to do a girls' night last night. We cooked some tasty food and drank wine and cosied up under blankets as we watched Absolutely Fabulous and other assorted shows. It was fun and lazy and a good way to spend a wintery Saturday.
During a brief warm-up this afternoon I drove home in the rain and made it maybe an hour before the snow started again. They're predicting snow showers on and off all week and it's getting REALLY old. I know March is right around the corner, but DAMN it's taking its time.
So now, home today, grading to do as always. Laundry, the Oscars tonight. Watching "Bling'd" again on VH1 since I missed most of it the other night when it premiered. It's a brilliant documentary, allowing one to see these American rappers' consciousness change and keep changing the deeper they go into Sierra Leone.
Now that February is winding down, so too will all the excellent programming for Black History Month. It would be nice if these stories weren't just part of a theme during the shortest month of the year. Surely there is room throughout the year, and for lots of different peoples' stories. . . .
During a brief warm-up this afternoon I drove home in the rain and made it maybe an hour before the snow started again. They're predicting snow showers on and off all week and it's getting REALLY old. I know March is right around the corner, but DAMN it's taking its time.
So now, home today, grading to do as always. Laundry, the Oscars tonight. Watching "Bling'd" again on VH1 since I missed most of it the other night when it premiered. It's a brilliant documentary, allowing one to see these American rappers' consciousness change and keep changing the deeper they go into Sierra Leone.
Now that February is winding down, so too will all the excellent programming for Black History Month. It would be nice if these stories weren't just part of a theme during the shortest month of the year. Surely there is room throughout the year, and for lots of different peoples' stories. . . .
2.23.2007
Old Times via New Technology
Ah, Skype.
Tonight, G and I continued a long-standing tradition in a slightly different medium. It's been nearly 7 years since we've lived in the same hemisphere, but we've maintained our very dear friendship via Instant Messenger ever since. Eventually this trend evolved to us getting online once maybe every six months on a Friday night and each drinking a bottle of wine while we chat and catch up.
Before you decry this as sad or pathetic, keep in mind that it's no different than if we were in Manchester or Chicago where we'd meet at a pub or a bar and sit and drink and chat for four hours or so. But that's not possible, so we do it online. Of course, the chats crashed a couple times and the microphone connection on his end was a little unreliable, but you make do.
And as the years have gone by, the technology has definitely improved. What used to be typing as turned into webcams and mics, so now we can see and hear each other. Sure, it's not perfect. Unfortunately, with a six hour time difference, he usually has a head start on me drinking, so he's half in the bag before I get my first sip and then I'm trying to catch up. The other downside is that by the time we got off Skype tonight it was after 3 am there, and because he works early mornings, he'd been awake for nearly 24 hours.
All told, it was wonderful to catch up and talk literature and politics and doctoral programs and to remember our time in Maine. He's not been online as much lately so it was a rare treat. I talk to Amity every day via Skype from Maine to Chicago, and to have gotten to do so from Manchester to Chicago feels just as natural. Best of all, it makes the world seem a little bit smaller. The fact that technology helps me stay that much closer pleases me infinitely.
Tonight, G and I continued a long-standing tradition in a slightly different medium. It's been nearly 7 years since we've lived in the same hemisphere, but we've maintained our very dear friendship via Instant Messenger ever since. Eventually this trend evolved to us getting online once maybe every six months on a Friday night and each drinking a bottle of wine while we chat and catch up.
Before you decry this as sad or pathetic, keep in mind that it's no different than if we were in Manchester or Chicago where we'd meet at a pub or a bar and sit and drink and chat for four hours or so. But that's not possible, so we do it online. Of course, the chats crashed a couple times and the microphone connection on his end was a little unreliable, but you make do.
And as the years have gone by, the technology has definitely improved. What used to be typing as turned into webcams and mics, so now we can see and hear each other. Sure, it's not perfect. Unfortunately, with a six hour time difference, he usually has a head start on me drinking, so he's half in the bag before I get my first sip and then I'm trying to catch up. The other downside is that by the time we got off Skype tonight it was after 3 am there, and because he works early mornings, he'd been awake for nearly 24 hours.
All told, it was wonderful to catch up and talk literature and politics and doctoral programs and to remember our time in Maine. He's not been online as much lately so it was a rare treat. I talk to Amity every day via Skype from Maine to Chicago, and to have gotten to do so from Manchester to Chicago feels just as natural. Best of all, it makes the world seem a little bit smaller. The fact that technology helps me stay that much closer pleases me infinitely.
2.22.2007
The Meanings of "Beagan"
I got to messing around on Google tonight and searched my last name, Beagan. It turned up a bunch of Irish (Gaelic) websites with the word "Beagan" in them. I had to find out what it means once and for all.
A Irish man with frightful dental hygiene (Austin Powers looks like a GOD compared to my memories of this man) on an Aer Lingus flight to Dublin once told me that it means "little", but according to the English/Irish Dictionary, here are the many meanings of "Beagan":
>>beagán<<
TRANSLATION:
beagán = adv rather
beagán = adv slightly
USAGE:
beagán = a little;
(small amount): beagán + gen = a spot of;
beagán, roinnt = a few;
i mbeagán focal = in a few words;
n: i mbeagán focal = in a nutshell;
is buí le bocht an beagán = beggars can't be choosers;
athrú sna praghsanna sa dóigh chéanna agus ..., ar a shon go dtiocfadh dó a bheith beagán níos fairsinge = price fluctuation no different in kind, although possibly a little greater in degree than ...;
i slí go dtiocfadh de an t-urlámhas ar earraí riachtanacha a bheith ina lámha féin ag beagán daoine chun dochair don phobal = as to result in the concentration of the control of essential commodities in a few individuals to the common detriment;
God, I love the internet. I'm an adverb!
A Irish man with frightful dental hygiene (Austin Powers looks like a GOD compared to my memories of this man) on an Aer Lingus flight to Dublin once told me that it means "little", but according to the English/Irish Dictionary, here are the many meanings of "Beagan":
>>beagán<<
TRANSLATION:
beagán = adv rather
beagán = adv slightly
USAGE:
beagán = a little;
(small amount): beagán + gen = a spot of;
beagán, roinnt = a few;
i mbeagán focal = in a few words;
n: i mbeagán focal = in a nutshell;
is buí le bocht an beagán = beggars can't be choosers;
athrú sna praghsanna sa dóigh chéanna agus ..., ar a shon go dtiocfadh dó a bheith beagán níos fairsinge = price fluctuation no different in kind, although possibly a little greater in degree than ...;
i slí go dtiocfadh de an t-urlámhas ar earraí riachtanacha a bheith ina lámha féin ag beagán daoine chun dochair don phobal = as to result in the concentration of the control of essential commodities in a few individuals to the common detriment;
God, I love the internet. I'm an adverb!
Haiku: What I Miss About Maine. Part 1
*
Stacking firewood
Splitting kindling on the porch
Fires in the wood stove
*
Stacking firewood
Splitting kindling on the porch
Fires in the wood stove
*
Obamania!
America, it's time for a change. Behold our next president, my friends. Find out more about his platform at www.barackobama.com
This man and this campaign are different than the usual politics. I implore even the most hardened cynics to take a look and see why. After the evil empire of George II, it's easy to be jaded about American politics and to feel powerless in the face of the machine that twice installed a man as president, the validity of which is dubious at best.
Remember, this country is a PARTICIPATORY DEMOCRACY. And a participatory democracy depends upon an educated populace for its success. Even if you're not blown away by Obama, keep doing your homework and find a candidate you can stand behind. WE DECIDE. But if we abstain, or only vote for the lesser of two evils, we are not exercising our rights as citizens in a so-called democracy.
The change begins with you. And me. And every eligible voter. If America is going to posture as "the city on a hill" for freedom and democracy around the world, we'd better start acting like one.
Digital Learning
It happens EVERY semester that I begin to doubt what the hell I'm doing in my doctoral program. Other doctoral students and survivors (those who actually make it) tell me this is normal.
Anyway, it's happened again where I'm behind on my course work and just don't have the energy or motivation to get caught up. I always do, and my professors are generally wonderful and understanding about it. It helps though to find some inspiration, and I have.
I give you the Digital Learning project through the MacArthur Foundation, and a terrific white paper by Henry Jenkins.
I feel less alone in the universe. I might get through this semester yet.
Anyway, it's happened again where I'm behind on my course work and just don't have the energy or motivation to get caught up. I always do, and my professors are generally wonderful and understanding about it. It helps though to find some inspiration, and I have.
I give you the Digital Learning project through the MacArthur Foundation, and a terrific white paper by Henry Jenkins.
I feel less alone in the universe. I might get through this semester yet.
Where Have I Been?
It's been a couple days. I've missed y'all :) So, where have I been?
*Teaching at CLC and OCC and CTU
*Eating killer burgers at Flatlanders with my partner-in-haiku ;)
*Running errands, errands, errands
*Dealing with a constipated Mojo and a runnsy Rococo. Ugh.
*Spending some QT in L-shire.
*Watching documentaries on Sierra Leone & the AIDS Pandemic
*Staying up too late, but for good reasons
*Drinking a good San Giovese and Dining on carpaccio, quattro stagione pizza, and budino di pane with Pats at Francesca's
*Shelling out $25 for a super cute Dolce & Gabbana bag, original price $270
*Deciding to go to China in May after all.
*Enjoying mi vida, baby
*Feeling blessed and lucky. Despite the cat poop.
Tomorrow, spa time, syllabus planning, and finally getting caught up on my damned homework.
*Teaching at CLC and OCC and CTU
*Eating killer burgers at Flatlanders with my partner-in-haiku ;)
*Running errands, errands, errands
*Dealing with a constipated Mojo and a runnsy Rococo. Ugh.
*Spending some QT in L-shire.
*Watching documentaries on Sierra Leone & the AIDS Pandemic
*Staying up too late, but for good reasons
*Drinking a good San Giovese and Dining on carpaccio, quattro stagione pizza, and budino di pane with Pats at Francesca's
*Shelling out $25 for a super cute Dolce & Gabbana bag, original price $270
*Deciding to go to China in May after all.
*Enjoying mi vida, baby
*Feeling blessed and lucky. Despite the cat poop.
Tomorrow, spa time, syllabus planning, and finally getting caught up on my damned homework.
2.19.2007
My First Gray Hair
Let it be noted that today, Monday, February 19, 2007, I found my first gray hair.
*sigh*
"Gray" is a bit of a misnomer. It was white.
It was so nice to still be able to say that I was almost 29 and still no gray. But age and genetics get us all eventually. Premature gray (as in early 20's) runs in the Beagan side of the family, so I'm actually doing pretty well to have only found one so far at my age.
Granted, it's only one hair. But there will be others. Oh yes, there will be.
*sigh*
*sigh*
"Gray" is a bit of a misnomer. It was white.
It was so nice to still be able to say that I was almost 29 and still no gray. But age and genetics get us all eventually. Premature gray (as in early 20's) runs in the Beagan side of the family, so I'm actually doing pretty well to have only found one so far at my age.
Granted, it's only one hair. But there will be others. Oh yes, there will be.
*sigh*
2.18.2007
Haiku: The Long Weekend at Home
*
Restless girl always
Needs to run, go, be, and do.
Had fun relaxing.
*
Restless girl always
Needs to run, go, be, and do.
Had fun relaxing.
*
Trent in Slip, B&W Version
Ali, one of my RMC students in ART 207, is the editor of the Lake County Arts Magazine. Their upcoming issue will feature some of my photos, in addition to work by my students from ART 207, Winter Quarter.
These pictures were originally shot in color, but because the magazine is published in black and white, I had to find work that I could change to grayscale. Because I was using the high-contrast black and white nudes I shot of Stacy, I decided to change these pictures of Trent from Kate's ceramics installation in Spring 2003.
I actually like these better in grayscale, I think.
Altogether, I like the Stacy pix and the Trent pix as a body of figure work together. No pun intended of course :)
These pictures were originally shot in color, but because the magazine is published in black and white, I had to find work that I could change to grayscale. Because I was using the high-contrast black and white nudes I shot of Stacy, I decided to change these pictures of Trent from Kate's ceramics installation in Spring 2003.
I actually like these better in grayscale, I think.
Altogether, I like the Stacy pix and the Trent pix as a body of figure work together. No pun intended of course :)
Architecture in Italy, 2003
Some proofs from the pix I shot in Assisi and Rome in early 2003. I scanned the negatives but never did anything else with them, so these shots are tweaked slices from the negatives, which are too small to do much with, but they work online.
Cafe Che, Rome
We loved finding this little tucked away joint somewhere in Rome. Viva la Revolucion!
Good Fences Make Good Neighbors
But in a condo, there are no fences.
Ugh.
So I'm sitting here tonight happy in my clean and tidy little dwelling unit when I can smell garbage. I know it's not coming from my place, as I keep it pretty clean and take out the trash every other day at most. So I check the hallway. My neighbors across the hall are an elderly Russian couple who also seem to keep a tidy house. Other than hearing their TV from time to time, they're great neighbors. By that I mean they keep to themselves and keep it clean.
So I walk down the hall, and, as I suspected, it's the new neighbors. The unit next to mine had been vacant for more than a year until this crew moved in. I got spoiled. It's not their fault that I can hear their garbage disposal, their ventilation fan, and their shower. But the stanky-ass trash in the hallway is too much. If I can smell it behind MY CLOSED DOOR and DOWN THE HALL, there's a problem.
Now, in fairness, I too leave my (non-stinky) garbage outside my door if it's late and cold and I don't want to deal with the intractable ice patch that always seems to be on the front step. But if the garbage stinks, I'm not going to subject my neighbors to it. And I'll be godDAMNED if I'm going to let someone else's slovenliness impact my life. There was a time and a place for that, it was called college, and I'm LONG since over it.
So, at 10:15 pm, I knocked on my neighbor's door, and told them their trash stinks. The woman who didn't even get up off the couch to answer the door apologized, but I don't think she meant it. I told her I'd take out the trash for her, and she thanked me for that too, but with only slightly more sincerity. UGH. So I braved the cold and the icy-front-step-of-death and to take out my neighbor's trash so that MY home, the one that I have been busting my ass to clean all weekend, wouldn't stink.
All I could think of is that that trash would have sat in the hallway all night long. What in GOD'S NAME would my house have smelled like come morning? The hallways still reeked even after I took out her trash, so I sprayed it down with Lysol and hope I proved a point. But chances are I didn't.
Man, I hate people.
Ugh.
So I'm sitting here tonight happy in my clean and tidy little dwelling unit when I can smell garbage. I know it's not coming from my place, as I keep it pretty clean and take out the trash every other day at most. So I check the hallway. My neighbors across the hall are an elderly Russian couple who also seem to keep a tidy house. Other than hearing their TV from time to time, they're great neighbors. By that I mean they keep to themselves and keep it clean.
So I walk down the hall, and, as I suspected, it's the new neighbors. The unit next to mine had been vacant for more than a year until this crew moved in. I got spoiled. It's not their fault that I can hear their garbage disposal, their ventilation fan, and their shower. But the stanky-ass trash in the hallway is too much. If I can smell it behind MY CLOSED DOOR and DOWN THE HALL, there's a problem.
Now, in fairness, I too leave my (non-stinky) garbage outside my door if it's late and cold and I don't want to deal with the intractable ice patch that always seems to be on the front step. But if the garbage stinks, I'm not going to subject my neighbors to it. And I'll be godDAMNED if I'm going to let someone else's slovenliness impact my life. There was a time and a place for that, it was called college, and I'm LONG since over it.
So, at 10:15 pm, I knocked on my neighbor's door, and told them their trash stinks. The woman who didn't even get up off the couch to answer the door apologized, but I don't think she meant it. I told her I'd take out the trash for her, and she thanked me for that too, but with only slightly more sincerity. UGH. So I braved the cold and the icy-front-step-of-death and to take out my neighbor's trash so that MY home, the one that I have been busting my ass to clean all weekend, wouldn't stink.
All I could think of is that that trash would have sat in the hallway all night long. What in GOD'S NAME would my house have smelled like come morning? The hallways still reeked even after I took out her trash, so I sprayed it down with Lysol and hope I proved a point. But chances are I didn't.
Man, I hate people.
2.17.2007
Posters, Italy 2003
I loved the textures on these posters, the way that new ones are pasted over old ones, torn away, and pasted over again.
Haiku: on Britney Spears Shaving her Head
*
When you are at your
ugliest, who still loves you?
Now you'll know, my dear.
*
When you are at your
ugliest, who still loves you?
Now you'll know, my dear.
*
2.16.2007
Surrender or Starve . . .
. . . is the title of the book by Robert D. Kaplan that I'm reading right now. It's about politics in the Horn of Africa in the 20th century, and how f'd up things got. I'm only a few pages into it, so I am unable to be more erudite on the topic at the moment. I do remember, though, during the 80's, USA for Africa and "We Are the World" and all those sad gorgeous habesha faces and the vacant eyes of starving children. Come to find out that that famine was a government tactic to force rebellious ethnic groups in Ethiopia into submission (ergo the title of the book "Surrender or Starve"). I also can't help but believe that because "We Are the World" (schlocky though it is) was such a huge hit song when I was 7 years old, I am in part the adult today who possesses a realistic but total faith in humanity. Okay, maybe it's idealistic and total. But it's still total.
So then, whence the dark topics? I also ordered on Amazon this week the memoir "A Long Way Gone" by Ishmael Beah about his childhood as a boy soldier forced into drug addiction and unspeakable crimes during the civil war in Ivory Coast. I saw him interviewed by Jon Stewart on the Daily Show the other night and I ordered the book DURING the interview. Beah is a beautiful and engaging young man who has been to the darkest and ugliest places a human being can go, but he came out the other side after a difficult recovery to literally shine like an archangel on my television screen. I'm not kidding, there is a light that comes from within this man. I cannot wait to read his book.
Because of these stories, I'm remembering what someone remarked to me (was it Amity? Maybe Pats?) when I was reading about the 1994 genocide in Rwanda. I gravitate toward really depressing reading material, and subsequently visit upon my poor students some pretty dark documentaries and articles. As someone who is so committed to reinforcing the idea that we are all part of the human race, I believe that these dark stories are the ones that best illuminate for us the need to see in one another our common humanity. It's in the most gruesome stories that we see the breakdown of that understanding, and the dire consequences of that breakdown.
I believe it is also important for people who have lived in total comfort and stability to press their faces against the glass and really SEE the rest of the world. This is again something about which I am adamant with my students.
I am reading "Surrender or Starve" partially because of my friend Azeiba. She was born in Eritrea and has so patiently answered every one of my millions of questions. In fact, she goes beyond that and really seeks to teach me, and I love her for that. We were born only one day apart, on opposite sides of the world and into completely different contexts. Yet she is still "my sister from a different mister." :) I want to better understand where she is from, and what drove her family to ultimately move halfway around the world.
I'll keep you posted.
So then, whence the dark topics? I also ordered on Amazon this week the memoir "A Long Way Gone" by Ishmael Beah about his childhood as a boy soldier forced into drug addiction and unspeakable crimes during the civil war in Ivory Coast. I saw him interviewed by Jon Stewart on the Daily Show the other night and I ordered the book DURING the interview. Beah is a beautiful and engaging young man who has been to the darkest and ugliest places a human being can go, but he came out the other side after a difficult recovery to literally shine like an archangel on my television screen. I'm not kidding, there is a light that comes from within this man. I cannot wait to read his book.
Because of these stories, I'm remembering what someone remarked to me (was it Amity? Maybe Pats?) when I was reading about the 1994 genocide in Rwanda. I gravitate toward really depressing reading material, and subsequently visit upon my poor students some pretty dark documentaries and articles. As someone who is so committed to reinforcing the idea that we are all part of the human race, I believe that these dark stories are the ones that best illuminate for us the need to see in one another our common humanity. It's in the most gruesome stories that we see the breakdown of that understanding, and the dire consequences of that breakdown.
I believe it is also important for people who have lived in total comfort and stability to press their faces against the glass and really SEE the rest of the world. This is again something about which I am adamant with my students.
I am reading "Surrender or Starve" partially because of my friend Azeiba. She was born in Eritrea and has so patiently answered every one of my millions of questions. In fact, she goes beyond that and really seeks to teach me, and I love her for that. We were born only one day apart, on opposite sides of the world and into completely different contexts. Yet she is still "my sister from a different mister." :) I want to better understand where she is from, and what drove her family to ultimately move halfway around the world.
I'll keep you posted.
Tips for Going Back to School at an Older Age
Visit my article on this topic at Helium to read more. Thanks!
Top Five BOOKS Everyone Must Read, and Why
Visit my article on this topic at Helium. It appears I get a nickel for everyone who reads my stuff, so perhaps this will be a better money making venture than Google Ad-sense, from which I have only earned a dime since November 2006.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Ugh. I am on Day One of a glorious FOUR DAY WEEKEND! This is wonderful news of course, but I had a major jones to go out of town this weekend and it just did not work out on any front. The most recent scheme was a last minute jaunt to Quebec City for a weekend with my brother and some friends. I found a reasonable flight and could have left at 6pm in plenty of time to get to the festivities, but alas, I decided to stay.
I think I'm really still struggling with having had to be sooooooooo frugal with my time off during the old corporate days. Ten days vacation and five sick days in an entire year is JUST not enough. I used to go to work sick, often deathly and contagiously so, just so I could use the time to travel instead.
So part of me is going mad that I have FOUR WHOLE DAYS and I'm staying home. It's anathema to what I've had to do for over three years now. So yeah, as excited as I am to be home, I've also been rebelling against myself all week about it. Instead, it's time to embrace it. There is sooooo much I can do, including grading, planning the trip to Malawi, homework I didn't get done this week, and planning my condo's kitchen and bath rehab.
So despite the fact that it's butt-ass cold outside and I have been fighting the winter ennui that now grips all of us collectively by mid-February, it's time for a productive weekend.
I think I'm really still struggling with having had to be sooooooooo frugal with my time off during the old corporate days. Ten days vacation and five sick days in an entire year is JUST not enough. I used to go to work sick, often deathly and contagiously so, just so I could use the time to travel instead.
So part of me is going mad that I have FOUR WHOLE DAYS and I'm staying home. It's anathema to what I've had to do for over three years now. So yeah, as excited as I am to be home, I've also been rebelling against myself all week about it. Instead, it's time to embrace it. There is sooooo much I can do, including grading, planning the trip to Malawi, homework I didn't get done this week, and planning my condo's kitchen and bath rehab.
So despite the fact that it's butt-ass cold outside and I have been fighting the winter ennui that now grips all of us collectively by mid-February, it's time for a productive weekend.
2.15.2007
Happy Birthday AMITY!!!
Seen here on New Years Eve with her boyfriend Kyle, with whom she in enjoying her 30th birthday in Orono, Maine tonight. If you happen to see them out, wish her a happy birthday.
Love you sweetie!
2.14.2007
Harvard Coop Bookstore
The Education section at the Harvard Coop Bookstore in Harvard Square, while waiting to meet Arik for lunch, January 2, 2007.
Classic Mojo
Yes, I'm a dork about my cats. Something about this picture though just cracks me up. For a near-mute creature, it never ceases to amaze me how Mojo has such a sense of humor, Either that, or after more than 7 years of living with her, I have projected an anthropomorphic sense of humor onto a cat. It's probably the latter, But either way, this picture tickles me.
Miss Girl on Skype
I have a lovely and somewhat bewildering relationship with Amanda via Skype. She is Amity's niece, age 2.5, and she is juuuuust starting to understand how I can BE there without actually BEING there. It's so much fun watching her grow and develop vicariously, thanks to Skype. She gives me kisses (sometimes big wet ones right on the computer screen, much to Auntie Amity's dismay), but my favorite is when she signs "I love you".
I really do feel like part of the family, which has a little to do with technology and ALOT to do with the big warmness in all the members of the family on South Brewer Drive. They make me feel like I belong. And I really miss feeling like I belong in Maine. When you DO feel like you belong there, there really is nothing better, my friend.
Contraband?
Did you know that bridal shops have a no-photography policy? I didn't. You'll notice that that didn't stop Jennifer and me. She and Brendan got engaged at the Pyramid of the Moon in Mexico City back in December, so one day last month she and I met the CEC crew for lunch at Francesca's, then headed over to a nearby bridal shop to try on pictures.
Can I just say, I had no idea playing dress-up could be so much fun. We laughed our asses off. Every time I snapped a picture, I would fake a cough or sneeze to mask the pseudo-shutter noise of the RAZR phone.
At any rate, Jennifer really liked this dress, whereas I realized I cannot get away with either strapless or a Madonna-esque, "Like a Virgin" veil. Jen did like this dress though, but now that they've decided on a June wedding in MAINE she may go in another direction. Either way, it was a riot, and it's good to have her home again now that she's done with her Master's in Oklahoma. I missed her.
Helium!
You might have noticed that I use Google AdSense on this blog (see right). Granted, I've only earned a whopping TEN CENTS on it since November, so clearly it's not getting much play. Feel free to get on that, readers :)
In fairness, I didn't find anything I wanted to click on until today: Helium. It's a website on which registered users can write articles on various topics. Their topics are then rated by other users. It's fabulous. I signed up today and wrote my first article on my Top 5 Books Everyone Should Read and Why.
So yeah, check it out. Or, if you want more, leave me a comment below with your email address and I'll send you an invite.
In fairness, I didn't find anything I wanted to click on until today: Helium. It's a website on which registered users can write articles on various topics. Their topics are then rated by other users. It's fabulous. I signed up today and wrote my first article on my Top 5 Books Everyone Should Read and Why.
So yeah, check it out. Or, if you want more, leave me a comment below with your email address and I'll send you an invite.
2.12.2007
Dad
On the cell phone, on which most of his business is conducted. I'm probably biased, but I think my dad is awfully cute. He's so in his element talking with people, making connections, and helping them out. I think I get that from him, along with a tiny bit of naughtiness and a wicked sense of adventure.
2.11.2007
Malawi 2008: The Planning Begins
Before leaving Chicago today I stopped at the Savvy Traveler at 310 S. Michigan Avenue. It's a great shop, dedicated to all things travel, and it's closing its doors very soon after having lost its lease. Real Estate on Michigan Avenue is a rather hot commodity, and after 22 years the owners have decided to close the store. I'm seriously hoping someone will come along, buy the business, and relocate it. Or at least go the e-commerce route.
Anyway, most of their products are now 20% off, so I bought some gear for the study abroad trip I am organizing for NIU, slated for Summer 2008: A couple guidebooks, some travel underwear, compression bags, a mosquito net, etc. The Bradt guide to Malawi in particular looks like it's going to be particularly useful, offering many websites such as this.
RMC's Winter Quarter is just about over, and a week off from CTU begins Tuesday, so I'm looking forward to diving into the planning in order to prepare the first draft of the 6 week itinerary to Dr. M at the end of the month.
Any feedback from people who have traveled to Malawi or planned a study abroad trip would be most appreciated.
Anyway, most of their products are now 20% off, so I bought some gear for the study abroad trip I am organizing for NIU, slated for Summer 2008: A couple guidebooks, some travel underwear, compression bags, a mosquito net, etc. The Bradt guide to Malawi in particular looks like it's going to be particularly useful, offering many websites such as this.
RMC's Winter Quarter is just about over, and a week off from CTU begins Tuesday, so I'm looking forward to diving into the planning in order to prepare the first draft of the 6 week itinerary to Dr. M at the end of the month.
Any feedback from people who have traveled to Malawi or planned a study abroad trip would be most appreciated.
Coco y Yo on Skype
Shot by Amity. Observant readers will note that a different version of this shot appeared on Icon a few months ago.
Intent on breaking the Internet
Amity and I have a whole series of pictures taken back and forth via Skype, It's part of our campaign to reflect one another back and forth ad infinitum until the fabric of the universe is irrevocably rent. Or maybe we'll just break the internet.
Anyway, we figured out a new trick yesterday. I am holding a compact mirror up to my webcam, so that the camera is reflecting itself back. Amity is in the bottom left taking the picture.
2.10.2007
Illinois? Indiana?
Road trip from Iowa City to Narragansett, Rhode Island, December 2002. We left Iowa City around 1 am, and drove east on I-80 as the sun rose, stopping in Cleveland for 8 hours sleep and arriving in the middle of the next night at our destination. A long tedious trip, during which I tried to occupy myself taking pictures.
Ergo, I give you my feet, on the dash, in striped socks.
2.09.2007
Child
Taken at the Vatican in early 2003, this photo is from an enormous stained glass window, which is what gives the image such a luminous quality. The light coming in from outside just glowed.
I also post this at Amity's suggestion after I told her about an incredibly vivid dream I had last night, in which I gave birth to a little girl. I have never had a dream in which I was even a parent, much less actually physically delivering a baby. It was intense, completely without pain, and followed by the most perfect serenity as I felt myself bonding with the child in her first moments of life.
Before anyone gets nervous, there is completely no chance of me being pregnant right now, so settle down. There would also be a pharmaceutical company getting SUED were that the case. Amity suggested that the dream signified the start of a creative endeavor, which is possible.
But what stands out to me the most from the dream was the feeling of connectedness I had with this baby, this other person. It is noteworthy that I was in the middle of teaching a class when I had to leave to deliver the baby, and as soon as she was born I took her and went right back to my students, who appreciated my dedication but insisted that I go home. In the next scene, I was in a restaurant with my parents, who refused to speak to one another or even sit at the same table, so I had to keep running back and forth between them.
So who knows? It's tedious to read about other people's dreams, so thanks for bearing with me. I also think it's funny that right before I went to sleep last night, there was a commercial for some Disney Princesses on Ice show, and they were singing the song "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" from Cinderella. On the one hand, it is one of my fondest wishes that I am lucky enough to have children some day. But on the other hand, a dream about my parents fighting is certainly not something for which I wish.
Any amateur psychoanalysts looking for an analysand are free to apply within.
Narragansett at Night
Two photos from Christmastime 2002:
The church down by the URI Bay Campus near Bonnet Shores, from which you can see both the Jamestown and Newport Bridges.
The boat "Classic Affair", owned by Brian's Uncle Mike, who was fixing it up that winter down at the Marina near Wakefield.
The church down by the URI Bay Campus near Bonnet Shores, from which you can see both the Jamestown and Newport Bridges.
The boat "Classic Affair", owned by Brian's Uncle Mike, who was fixing it up that winter down at the Marina near Wakefield.
What do YOU need?
Amity tagged Kyle, so now I'm picking up the tag.
Go to Google and type your first name, followed by the verb "needs". Put it all in quotes. For example, my Google search was "Jessica needs", and post the top ten. Mine are:
1. "Jessica needs to rethink her position on doing adult films" (does this mean I need to START doing them?)
2. "Jessica needs to spend a lot of time kissing Helen" (from the same site as number 1. I'm game if Helen is)
3. "Jessica Needs Coffee" (yes. yes I do. If you're going to Starbucks, a Grande Nonfat Caramel Macchiato with one Splenda, please)
4. "Jessica needs fake titties" (this was from another Jessica's blog who did the same Google game, ironically enough. In this case, this Jessica is perfectly happy with her real titties, thank you very much.)
5. "Jessica Needs Your Help" (it is true we get by with a little help from our friends. This one is repeated a few times, btw)
6. "Jessica needs a bit of time off by herself to process things" (Actually, I have. It's been great.)
7. "Jessica needs an adoptive family that is very structured" (True dat. I do actually have one, on South Brewer Drive in Brewer, Maine. Shout out!)
8. "Jessica needs a rumor boyfriend" (criminy. I have enough problems)
9. "Jessica Needs To Stop Dressing Like A Slut. Or not" (To everything there is a season, including dressing like a slut.)
10. "Jessica needs a new prescription" (AMEN.)
If you do this activity, leave me a comment so I can link to yours!
Go to Google and type your first name, followed by the verb "needs". Put it all in quotes. For example, my Google search was "Jessica needs", and post the top ten. Mine are:
1. "Jessica needs to rethink her position on doing adult films" (does this mean I need to START doing them?)
2. "Jessica needs to spend a lot of time kissing Helen" (from the same site as number 1. I'm game if Helen is)
3. "Jessica Needs Coffee" (yes. yes I do. If you're going to Starbucks, a Grande Nonfat Caramel Macchiato with one Splenda, please)
4. "Jessica needs fake titties" (this was from another Jessica's blog who did the same Google game, ironically enough. In this case, this Jessica is perfectly happy with her real titties, thank you very much.)
5. "Jessica Needs Your Help" (it is true we get by with a little help from our friends. This one is repeated a few times, btw)
6. "Jessica needs a bit of time off by herself to process things" (Actually, I have. It's been great.)
7. "Jessica needs an adoptive family that is very structured" (True dat. I do actually have one, on South Brewer Drive in Brewer, Maine. Shout out!)
8. "Jessica needs a rumor boyfriend" (criminy. I have enough problems)
9. "Jessica Needs To Stop Dressing Like A Slut. Or not" (To everything there is a season, including dressing like a slut.)
10. "Jessica needs a new prescription" (AMEN.)
If you do this activity, leave me a comment so I can link to yours!
2.08.2007
Teaching the Digital Generation
Students today live in digital worlds. Social connections and mini-soap operas play out on MySpace and FaceBook. Many of them have weblogs and websites. Because of their facility in these environments, I wanted to bring as much of it into Digital Photography as possible.
In ART 207 at Robert Morris College during the Winter Quarter, students shot all of their photographs using digital cameras. They selected some to upload to their Flickr accounts, and from there chose a total of 20 minimum to post to their photo blogs on Live Journal. To access the student blogs, see the links in the right hand column on my blog at www.jessicabeagan.blogspot.com. They also wrote reviews of two different photographers' work, and wrote four movie reviews on films we watched in class.
In teaching I have found that students learn well by watching films. We are an increasingly tele-visual culture, and the primary way in which information is mediated these days is on screen: television, movie, computer, iPod, cell phone, etc. Thus, it makes sense that these same tools be employed in the classroom to keep students engaged. In fact, this idea is the basis for my doctoral work in Adult Education at Northern Illinois University. Among the films in class were "The True Meaning of Pictures" about Shelby Lee Adams' work in Appalachia, "24 Hours on Craig's List" about the virtual community that has mushroomed online, and "A Scanner Darkly", a dystopian futuristic view of the near future told in the visual language of Adobe Illustrator or a graphic novel.
The final film we watched is the 2004 Academy Award winning documentary film "Born into Brothels." I chose this film for two reasons. First, the film is about photography. Inspired during the course of pursuing her own body of work, New York-based photographer Zana Briski began a photography class for the children of prostitutes in the red light district in North Calcutta. The children begin to document and discuss the world around them through their pictures, many of which are extraordinary. Their talent combined with Briski's unwavering dedication to helping her students begins to open doors for these children to attend school and show their photography around the world.
The second and most important reason I chose this film is that I want my students to be exposed to issues and ideas and lives OUTSIDE their own familiar context. There is an unfortunate isolationism in American culture, which is part geopolitical and part hubris. Students rarely have the opportunity to peer into windows on other walks of life. In this case, they saw the harsh reality of the lives of these children, many of whom have to vacate their family's one room and play on the roof while their mother is "working." At the same time, there is a thread of tension that runs through the film as it becomes evident that many of these girl-children will be compelled to "join the line" with their mothers once they come of age.
The students also were able to witness the institutionalized prejudice against these children in India. As the children of sex-workers, their options are few and the are obstacles many because society looks down on them. Briski's fight to get simple identification documents so that the children could attend school --- something we take for granted --- is well-documented in the film.
For more information on "Born into Brothels" and the foundation Kids with Cameras, please visit www.kids-with-cameras.org
In ART 207 at Robert Morris College during the Winter Quarter, students shot all of their photographs using digital cameras. They selected some to upload to their Flickr accounts, and from there chose a total of 20 minimum to post to their photo blogs on Live Journal. To access the student blogs, see the links in the right hand column on my blog at www.jessicabeagan.blogspot.com. They also wrote reviews of two different photographers' work, and wrote four movie reviews on films we watched in class.
In teaching I have found that students learn well by watching films. We are an increasingly tele-visual culture, and the primary way in which information is mediated these days is on screen: television, movie, computer, iPod, cell phone, etc. Thus, it makes sense that these same tools be employed in the classroom to keep students engaged. In fact, this idea is the basis for my doctoral work in Adult Education at Northern Illinois University. Among the films in class were "The True Meaning of Pictures" about Shelby Lee Adams' work in Appalachia, "24 Hours on Craig's List" about the virtual community that has mushroomed online, and "A Scanner Darkly", a dystopian futuristic view of the near future told in the visual language of Adobe Illustrator or a graphic novel.
The final film we watched is the 2004 Academy Award winning documentary film "Born into Brothels." I chose this film for two reasons. First, the film is about photography. Inspired during the course of pursuing her own body of work, New York-based photographer Zana Briski began a photography class for the children of prostitutes in the red light district in North Calcutta. The children begin to document and discuss the world around them through their pictures, many of which are extraordinary. Their talent combined with Briski's unwavering dedication to helping her students begins to open doors for these children to attend school and show their photography around the world.
The second and most important reason I chose this film is that I want my students to be exposed to issues and ideas and lives OUTSIDE their own familiar context. There is an unfortunate isolationism in American culture, which is part geopolitical and part hubris. Students rarely have the opportunity to peer into windows on other walks of life. In this case, they saw the harsh reality of the lives of these children, many of whom have to vacate their family's one room and play on the roof while their mother is "working." At the same time, there is a thread of tension that runs through the film as it becomes evident that many of these girl-children will be compelled to "join the line" with their mothers once they come of age.
The students also were able to witness the institutionalized prejudice against these children in India. As the children of sex-workers, their options are few and the are obstacles many because society looks down on them. Briski's fight to get simple identification documents so that the children could attend school --- something we take for granted --- is well-documented in the film.
For more information on "Born into Brothels" and the foundation Kids with Cameras, please visit www.kids-with-cameras.org
Romance is Dead
One of my major goals as a Humanities teacher is to help my students to find the themes and ideas that help them relate to our common human experience. This article on the Neolithic skeletons found embracing as they died between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago near modern-day Mantua in Italy is a beautiful example of how comfort and affection and the need for human contact is timeless and universal.
Artist's Statement
I have some photographs of Stacy & Trent that will be published in Lake County Arts Magazine in March, for which I had to write this artist's statement.
I still have a hard time calling myself an “artist.” I take pictures. But I do the same thing with words like “teacher” or “instructor.” I tell people that I teach Humanities at a couple different local colleges. To me, it’s more important to focus on the verbs rather than the nouns. Certainly, what I DO defines who I AM. But to ascribe to myself these terms — to say “I am this” — means that I acquire all of the dimensions of what those words can mean. And even the same words can mean so many different things to every different person. I take pictures, but am I a “photographer?”
Because I am still finding my voice as a creative person, I find myself working over these questions. As part of the process of processing, I give you these photographs. I stopped shooting black and white in late 2002 and really haven’t looked back. But for this edition of the LCA magazine, I revisited some of my older work. I also stopped shooting figures as much in favor of interiors in recent years. Yet I still find thematic elements beginning to emerge as I go back through my work since 1998 when I took my first photography class. It tends to incorporate dramatic lighting, and in recent times more natural lighting. I also seek to balance opposites: interiors as exterior manifestations of internal mental states, or how representation can be made abstract, or how the organic becomes inorganic. These images here reflect how subtle manipulations of the human form merge into abstract geometric shapes. The human element is still evident, but the bodies are contorted or masked in ways that are highly formal — and also erotic though not sexualized.
I have learned that creativity is a quotidian venture. I do a little bit every day, and I make it a part of who I am. Only THEN do I become that which I do.
I still have a hard time calling myself an “artist.” I take pictures. But I do the same thing with words like “teacher” or “instructor.” I tell people that I teach Humanities at a couple different local colleges. To me, it’s more important to focus on the verbs rather than the nouns. Certainly, what I DO defines who I AM. But to ascribe to myself these terms — to say “I am this” — means that I acquire all of the dimensions of what those words can mean. And even the same words can mean so many different things to every different person. I take pictures, but am I a “photographer?”
Because I am still finding my voice as a creative person, I find myself working over these questions. As part of the process of processing, I give you these photographs. I stopped shooting black and white in late 2002 and really haven’t looked back. But for this edition of the LCA magazine, I revisited some of my older work. I also stopped shooting figures as much in favor of interiors in recent years. Yet I still find thematic elements beginning to emerge as I go back through my work since 1998 when I took my first photography class. It tends to incorporate dramatic lighting, and in recent times more natural lighting. I also seek to balance opposites: interiors as exterior manifestations of internal mental states, or how representation can be made abstract, or how the organic becomes inorganic. These images here reflect how subtle manipulations of the human form merge into abstract geometric shapes. The human element is still evident, but the bodies are contorted or masked in ways that are highly formal — and also erotic though not sexualized.
I have learned that creativity is a quotidian venture. I do a little bit every day, and I make it a part of who I am. Only THEN do I become that which I do.
2.07.2007
Project Runway
Mmmm, marathon. I think "Top Chef" and "Top Design" are fine and all, but there is just nothing like "Project Runway." As I watch it YET AGAIN, (the finale is on now), I still think Jeffrey Sebelia deserved to win. That said, Uli Herzner's collection is really sublime.
Laura Bennett's apes sophistication, but beads are beads and feathers are feathers. I guess Upper West Side dowager just isn't my scene. Plus it's hard to respect her after the bullshit she pulled on Jeffrey leading up to the runway show. She knew she got out-designed and she wanted to remove some of the competition. She should have resorted to a pincushion voodoo doll. Whatever her intentions, it was petty and at best it seemed like a ratings ploy. Real Upper West Side elegance should be above that, imho. She has talent, she has a vision, and she sold herself short.
And Michael Knight, well, he's got promise. And time. He's one to watch. He totally nailed the super-wide high-waisted belt look after all.
How long 'til Season 4???? (she says, whining). I'll be wearing my Tim Gunn t-shirt (designed by yummy Daniel Vosovic) in breathless anticipation. Don't keep us waiting too long!
Laura Bennett's apes sophistication, but beads are beads and feathers are feathers. I guess Upper West Side dowager just isn't my scene. Plus it's hard to respect her after the bullshit she pulled on Jeffrey leading up to the runway show. She knew she got out-designed and she wanted to remove some of the competition. She should have resorted to a pincushion voodoo doll. Whatever her intentions, it was petty and at best it seemed like a ratings ploy. Real Upper West Side elegance should be above that, imho. She has talent, she has a vision, and she sold herself short.
And Michael Knight, well, he's got promise. And time. He's one to watch. He totally nailed the super-wide high-waisted belt look after all.
How long 'til Season 4???? (she says, whining). I'll be wearing my Tim Gunn t-shirt (designed by yummy Daniel Vosovic) in breathless anticipation. Don't keep us waiting too long!
I'm a Free Woman!
And no, I don't mean free as in gratis, I mean free as in no longer in any legal trouble. That's right. Loyal readers will recall that I back in August, and October, AND December, I got pulled over for speeding. And was ticketed. All three times. Yikes. Spare me any lectures, by the way. I get it. Some lessons need several iterations, but trust me, I get it. Read on.
First time, I did traffic school for four mind-numbing hours online. Second time, a court date for which I never received notice. The judge ruled an ex parte conviction and I paid $150 online. I think it was a conviction. Which may NOT be a good thing but who the fuck knows?
Today was my final ticket travail, a court appearance because I was pulled over for allegedly speeding in an alleged construction zone. Whatever. I decided at the absolute last minute to hire a lawyer, which turned out to be a good thing, cost notwithstanding. We were in and out of there in less than ten minutes, and I did NOT get a conviction. I did get a honkin' fine though. Take my word for it. Several hundred dollars.
If you happen to ride with me any time soon, you will see a post-it note on the dashboard with a dollar amount on it. It's the total amount I have spent on fines and tickets and other speeding-related costs in the past 6 months. I figure that ought to help remind me to slow down.
Now that it's over, it's a relief. I didn't realize the little Eeyore raincloud that's been following me around about this. I've been to court with my dad for his clients a bunch of times, but not ever because I was in trouble before today. I didn't like it.
So yeah. Now it's over. And I'm gonna behave. For real.
First time, I did traffic school for four mind-numbing hours online. Second time, a court date for which I never received notice. The judge ruled an ex parte conviction and I paid $150 online. I think it was a conviction. Which may NOT be a good thing but who the fuck knows?
Today was my final ticket travail, a court appearance because I was pulled over for allegedly speeding in an alleged construction zone. Whatever. I decided at the absolute last minute to hire a lawyer, which turned out to be a good thing, cost notwithstanding. We were in and out of there in less than ten minutes, and I did NOT get a conviction. I did get a honkin' fine though. Take my word for it. Several hundred dollars.
If you happen to ride with me any time soon, you will see a post-it note on the dashboard with a dollar amount on it. It's the total amount I have spent on fines and tickets and other speeding-related costs in the past 6 months. I figure that ought to help remind me to slow down.
Now that it's over, it's a relief. I didn't realize the little Eeyore raincloud that's been following me around about this. I've been to court with my dad for his clients a bunch of times, but not ever because I was in trouble before today. I didn't like it.
So yeah. Now it's over. And I'm gonna behave. For real.
The House at Keach Pond
In 2002 I shot some pictures at my grandfather's house. My grandmother died in 1996, and he continued to live in the house until a few days before he died in May 2005. My cousin and her kids live there now.
The house is a ramshackle little lakeside cottage, built in stages by my grandfather, his brothers, his sons and sons-in-law. We spent alot of time there, especially during summers, and even lived there for a summer or two while houses were being built and sold.
I haven't seen the place since Christine moved in, but I know it's different. Even in these pictures, the house that had been so familiar felt different. It was in transition during those 9 years after my grandmother. I feel that here.
My MFA thesis was on the psychology of interior spaces: how interiors are external manifestations of internal mental states. Cluttered homes, for instance, usually begin at some traumatic point in a persons life. Keeping a ton of shit is a way of holding on. I felt an urgency to shoot this house while it was still a little like what I remembered, before my grandfather was gone and it changed completely. So here it is, in part:
The house is a ramshackle little lakeside cottage, built in stages by my grandfather, his brothers, his sons and sons-in-law. We spent alot of time there, especially during summers, and even lived there for a summer or two while houses were being built and sold.
I haven't seen the place since Christine moved in, but I know it's different. Even in these pictures, the house that had been so familiar felt different. It was in transition during those 9 years after my grandmother. I feel that here.
My MFA thesis was on the psychology of interior spaces: how interiors are external manifestations of internal mental states. Cluttered homes, for instance, usually begin at some traumatic point in a persons life. Keeping a ton of shit is a way of holding on. I felt an urgency to shoot this house while it was still a little like what I remembered, before my grandfather was gone and it changed completely. So here it is, in part:
2.05.2007
Contest! Fun with Photos II. ENTER NOW!
The first "Fun with Photos" challenge was issued over the weekend. Congrats to Amity and Chrystal for playing. Amity correctly identified the iron as the common element in the three pictures, while Chrystal correctly identified natural light as a common design element.
Their prize is a guest editorial spot on "icon" wherein they can take over my blog for one posting each, the content of which is totally up to them.
So, the next contest is based on the posting "Grandma and Billy Idol" from 1.31.07. Please read the post and comment either to this posting or that one which pop icon we should find for my mother to pose with for her contribution to the new family tradition I'm starting.
The prize for this contest will be if you create a composite photograph of my mother with a famous person, I will post it to "icon" and credit you for your work. Also, if you have any pictures of friends or family or yourselves with famous people or persons, send them along and I will post them to your credit on "icon" as well.
I look forward to your suggestions. Have fun!
Their prize is a guest editorial spot on "icon" wherein they can take over my blog for one posting each, the content of which is totally up to them.
So, the next contest is based on the posting "Grandma and Billy Idol" from 1.31.07. Please read the post and comment either to this posting or that one which pop icon we should find for my mother to pose with for her contribution to the new family tradition I'm starting.
The prize for this contest will be if you create a composite photograph of my mother with a famous person, I will post it to "icon" and credit you for your work. Also, if you have any pictures of friends or family or yourselves with famous people or persons, send them along and I will post them to your credit on "icon" as well.
I look forward to your suggestions. Have fun!
Happy Birthday Brian
If you're in Vancouver, I think you might have seen my blog. But even if not, I wanted you to know that I do know it was two days ago, but I've been thinking about you and hope you had a happy 25th.
Wherever your travels take you, be well and happy.
Represent! Pediatrics
This is Debbie, Carlita, me, and Head at the rehearsal dinner for Debbie's wedding in Grand Isle, Maine, in August, 2003. I love that we're all four together here.
These three girls were all a year or two ahead of me at UMM, and during my first year at college they lived on Pediatrics, the floor above mine in Dorward Hall. I met Carla at orientation and she suggested I move to Pediatrics. I didn't take her advice, which I often regretted, but I did become an honorary guest.
As happens to most of us, life has taken us in many different directions, and I don't see these girls more than every few years at this point. No matter what though, they are in my soul forever. I had more fun and crazy adventures in college than I ever dreamed possible. And every time we get together it's the same, as if no time has passed and somewhere we're still running around campus in our own little world.
Of course, this picture is very sweet and represents us well and happy. Every single one of the pictures from that trip for Deb's wedding are like that, by the way. Unfortunately, I found myself having to make some editorial decisions that I really wish I didn't have to make.
For instance, ladies, those pictures in the hot tub? Even with some tasteful editing, I didn't think that those of us with teaching and university jobs or much less CHILDREN really needed those on the web. Believe me, I agonized over it. But I decided that this one, we can share with the world. All the silly adventures and semi-nudity will remain ours alone.
Playing in Traffic
These photos, taken from the median on Golf Road at Knollwood in Schaumburg, Illinois in the summer of 2004 were published in the first edition of the UK Magazine Transmission, based out of Manchester.
2.04.2007
Mafe y Yo
Picture 013
Originally uploaded by Amity Beane.
My first visit to Venezuela in 2004, this is my sobrina Maria Fernanda. My Spanish is improved since then but it's still not terrific. Mafe, of course, does not speak English, but we figured it out.
2.03.2007
Fun with Photos
Come on everyone and play along! These are some pix I took in the laundry room at Calle Acuario. Which element appears in all three? A fabulous prize goes to the first person to name it correctly in the comments ;)
Pals
This is my brother Michael and me on our first visit to Florida in 1986. We were 6 & 7 years old. By and large I think we were cute kids, though I'd say we both owe a debt of gratitude to orthodontics.
Being that I'm only 15 months older than him, I don't have any memories of life without my brother. He's just always been there. We're very different in a lot of ways, but it's good to know he's always got my back. As I have his.
2.01.2007
Whence Adult Education . . .
Never doubt the power of childhood as a formative time. I fell in love with learning as kid. I was surrounded by teachers and students in my family, and it certainly rubbed off.
I was probably 6 years old in this picture, wearing Daddy's earphones and writing at his desk. Think of the ear protection one would use on a shooting range. Dad used these to study in relative peace and quiet, and so that Michael and I wouldn't have to be complete churchmice.
While I was growing up, my dad was in school finishing first his Bachelor's and then his law degree, all the while working full-time and part-time jobs and raising a family. I have so much respect for how hard he and my mother worked in their 20's to juggle all of these responsibilities so well.
At 28 it's hard sometimes to realize how easy I've had it. All I've ever had to worry about is myself. Moreover, I feel this with the students I teach today, the ones like my parents who put their children before themselves and are now trying to juggle all those same responsibilities that I saw in my own family as a child.
I believe the experience probably lead me to focus on my education in my 20's, rather than marriage and children. And I'm pretty well convinced that my pursuit of an Ed.d in Adult Education is inextricable from this time 20+ years ago. More than anything though, I do believe it also helps me to be more compassionate toward my students. I have an infinite respect for them as well.
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