A Tough Decision

At some point, something has to give. That's what they say, isn't it?

So tonight, what gives? It's a decision with which I have been struggling for a lot longer than I've wanted to admit. I'm withdrawing from my doctoral program.

This is not a decision I have made lightly. I hate quitting this. But you know what, I just don't need it. My teaching Humanities, albeit as an adjunct, is the most rewarding thing I could have ever imagined doing. And I'm doing it. A doctoral degree, like the Ed.D., isn't a bad thing to have. But I don't want to be an administrator, and I don't want to teach education.

Plus, time is a finite resource. I'm approaching my thirtieth birthday, and I'm learning that I still have lots of time, but I don't have forever. So what do I want to do with my time? As much as I'd like to be Dr. Beagan (and may yet still become Dr. Beagan), right now, I want to use my 24/7 for teaching, traveling, writing, and photography.

And I still have a way to go in my career. I want a full-time job, and I might even pursue the tenure track. But it will be as a Humanities instructor. And I don't think I need an Ed.D. for that. Again, maybe another doctoral degree, in another place and time. But for now, there is other work to do.

So I have decided. I feel good. I feel guilty, because I always feel guilty. But it's the right choice for me. And so it is.

Of course, I have not withdrawn yet. I have until March 9. A week from Friday. So you know, stay tuned.