Lots of Guilt

I have not been a very good "mother" this week.

Now I'm not trying to say that having two cats is like having kids. I'm not so much of a childless crone that I've lost my sense of perspective. I just mean that, like being a mother, having two cats means that little critters rely upon me for their general health and well-being. And sometimes, we are selfless. Othertimes we are selfish. But most of the time, we do what we all need to do to keep the balance in our little ecosystems.

So Fishy-bon drops dead sometime on Sunday, and then Tuesday I wake up to a text message from Andrea that reads:

"Rococo has thrown up about 8 Times this morning. you miggt want to check on her. also the litterbox is pretty full
From: Andrea
7:47am 1/29/08"

Now, this is enough to make anyone feel guilty. Let me first point out that I guarantee that I read this far more accusatorily than Andrea could ever dream of feeling. She's too kind, and I have too much of a guilt complex. Bottom line, she's genuinely concerned. And I am pond scum.

Truth be told, I haven't been around much. Work, travel, and social calendars. But I started feeling bad. I flushed Fishy-bon on Sunday night, and couldn't sleep Monday because I hadn't slept at home in days and felt worried about the cats. Then I wake up to Andrea's message. So I come home, she's puked everywhere, but seems to have coughed up the foreign object. We go to work, no problem. Then home and all evening, no problem. We go to bed and she doesn't puke again until the next morning. It's only once and she seems okay, even though she hid out all night. I go to work.

Now, I had had plans to be away again tonight, to stay at the Folks' and hang out with Dad while Mom is in DC. I have to work again at the lab tomorrow, so it would work out well. But Andrea called me at 6, as I was wrapping up my visit with Grandpa, to say Rococo was still throwing up, and that her energy and behavior indicated that my little Kitten felt worse still. Needless to say, I flew back to Providence, gathered Rococo, and continued on to the Animal Hospital in Swansea.

Bay State Animal Hospital was fantastic. They treated Coco for dehydration and gave her some meds, and a bland diet. She's hiding out in the dark downstairs, curled up in a tight little loaf the same way I found her in my bathroom today. Mojo is being vigilant, and I love her for it. As of right now, I'm planning to go to work tomorrow, but that remains to be seen.

I've been neglectful. I traveled last weekend, had guests this weekend, and just have not been around. I'm trying to nurture my human relationships, and my own needs, but I've not been here for my cats. And they are my responsibility. So if I'm not happy with Rococo's condition in the morning, I will stay home, and she and I will return to the vet.

Andrea just got home from bowling. Time to fill her in on the doctor's visit and the patient's condition. I'm going to go check on Coco too.