I'm it! Here's the reply to Amity's "Five things most people don't know about me"
1. My IQ is 149.
2. The people I love the most are the ones I most fear becoming.
3. I'm nowhere near as free-spirited as I seem.
4. Being alone is the hardest thing I've ever had to learn how to do.
5. I'm almost certain that I will never find true love.
Ok, so. It got deep :) That's maybe the 6th thing. I'm terrified of depth, heights, and vulnerability.
Who's it now? Tag!
11.30.2006
11.28.2006
A learning experience
The students of HUM 123 and I entered the blogosphere tonight. A few bumps and bruises along the way, but by and large, I'd say it was successful. I do need to learn a thing or two about how to manage a general student blog better, but I'm happy for the experience.
One issue is that the Humanities, etc. student blog at http://mystudentswork.blogspot.com shows up in the dashboard next to this one, icon. Two of the six groups accidentally published to icon instead of Humanities, etc. I have to figure out the team blogging thing, and will probably create a separate Google account using a different email address so that the cross pollination doesn't occur. Not that I mind, of course. But these are all things you don't really know until you do it.
At any rate, thanks to everyone in HUM 123 for trying something new. See ya next week!
Ms. B
One issue is that the Humanities, etc. student blog at http://mystudentswork.blogspot.com shows up in the dashboard next to this one, icon. Two of the six groups accidentally published to icon instead of Humanities, etc. I have to figure out the team blogging thing, and will probably create a separate Google account using a different email address so that the cross pollination doesn't occur. Not that I mind, of course. But these are all things you don't really know until you do it.
At any rate, thanks to everyone in HUM 123 for trying something new. See ya next week!
Ms. B
Baroque
Jason and Shawn
BAROQUE
The Baroque style originated in Rome around the 1600’s . It was the primary style of art between the Mannersim and Rococo movement. It’s a complex style based on high theatrics and drama that envokes emotional states by appealing to the senses. Some of its famous qualities are its richness in colors, movement, tension and emotional exuberance. It has many religious undertones as well, mostly depicted towards the Catholic Church. This made it very unpopular with the Protestant churches and banned in Holland and Britain. Baroque also is found in many sculptures and furniture as well.
(Caravaggio, The Death of the Virgin, 1605-06)
The formal qualities in The Death of the Virgin are extreme. It was the largest painting that Caravaggio ever produced. It was 369x 245cm! The painting is severe, sad and very still. The different shades of light show how the light is coming in at different angels and casts shadows. It also highlights the virgin in particular. The shading brings out the glare on the balding men’s head as well. Red, orange and dark green are the predominant colors to produce a very solemn mood. 
One piece that very much the exemplifies the theatric element of the Baroque period is the “The Ecstasy of St. Theresa”, sculpted by Gianlorenzo Bernini 1645-1652.
The work depicts a paradox, one of joy and anguish experienced at the same time, this theme of paradox is an important characteristic of the Baroque style. The artist used “every device available to him to dramatize the scene.” (Sayre p.471) The sculpture is spotlighted by a tiny window above so that the whole scene seems to glow. The bronze rays appear as if they were painted rays from heaven. Here the theatrics of Baroque are quite evident.
(THE PALACE OF VERSAILLES)
This palace is a great example of the Baroques architecture. The Palace of Versailles was the official residence of the Kings of France from 1682 until 1790. It was originally a hunting lodge, built in 1624, by Louis XIII. It was expanded by Louis XIV beginning in 1669. He used it as a little lodge as a secret refuge for his amorous trysts with the lovely Louise de la Valliere and built a fairy tale park around it. The courtyard contained perhaps the biggest slab of marble in its time and was extremely costly but never short on style. It also had a hall of mirrors which was even more expensive than the marble at that time. The gardens are extremely large and very lush surrounding the castle. The ceiling contained many great fresco paintings. Most of the furnishing were destroyed during the French revolution but later restored by Napolean.
(Rembrandt van Rijn, “Resurrection of Christ”)
Baroque came to be as a response to the growing popularity of Protestantism. Its style of drama, theatrics and tendency to evoke emotion were meant to attract the people back to the “reinvigorated Catholic church.” (webmuseum) As the Baroque style spread across Europe and into Protestant areas, the religious examples of art were banned, and new subjects such as landscapes became the focus. These artists were now not painting for the church, but rather for the international markets. With this new subject matter, people began to realize that what is spiritual is not found only in church, but in everyday life. Also, art began to take on new meanings. For example, Louis XIV began using art as a propaganda tool rather than for aesthetic beauty or religious expression. 
(Baroque Music Room )
This music room is a great example of the Baroque style. We chose this painting as it includes the painting aspect but the overall architecture and furniture as well. The colors have a very classic but serious look. The architecture allows for high fresco painted ceilings with lots of light as well. The chairs also have an elegant and royalty look to them that follow the overall form of the room. This is definitely a place where both royalty and the common people could truly appreciate. 
(Giovanni Paolo Panini)
All of the pieces we chose are excellent examples of Baroque style from the Baroque period. The use of color and light along with evoking a sense of drama and theatrics are characteristics found in Baroque art, and to an extent, characteristics in all the works we have shown. They all clearly deviate from the classical principles of preceding the style, this is true in the paintings and the architecture. All of these aspects make Baroque a unique and distinguishable style, obviously found in-between the mannerism and rococo periods.
Romanticism by Agnes and Sumera
Romanticism was a period which mostly concentrated on feelings and emotions. It was an artistic and intellectual movement that was originated in late 18th Century of the Western Europe. The whole period was influenced by French Revolution. In part a revolt against aristocratic, social, and political norms of the Enlightenment period and a reaction against the rationalization of nature, in art and literature it stressed strong emotion as a source of aesthetic experience, placing new emphasis on such emotions as trepidation, horror, and the awe experienced in confronting the sublimity of nature. It also emphasized on the experience of God that could be found in the Nature. People realize their smallness in face of nature and time. The name "romantic" itself comes from the term "romance" which is a prose or poetic heroic narrative originating in medieval literature. Typical Romantic devaluated the notion of knowledge through intuition.
Chalk Cliffs on Rugen (1818), Casper David Friedrich
This picture represents nature domination over human. The artists purposely presents few figures whose sizes are minimized to over power the idea how people are small in front of those white picks of maintains.
“Saturn Devouring One of his Sons” by Francisco Goya.
William Blake Richmond British
Blake the firm line is the visual sign of firm intention - Romanticism - Criticized on Enlightenment principles, romantic art would seem to be obsessed with trying to find new things to say and new ways of saying them, at the expense of abiding truths and what Reynolds calls "the world's opinion" - Blake's idea of originality is the deep originality of human personality expressed in works of art that perfectly unite conception and execution -Originality of personality is perfect integrity of personality, not feeling but wholeness
William Turner - Rain, Steam and Speed
He was one of the artists who was particularly attracted to sublime. This picture is an oil painting of a fire that he observed from a distance. This painting is strongly associated with Industrial Revolution which rapidly was evolving; therefore through bright light you recognize coming from the far a machine (train).
The Romanticism in Poland was a distinct period because of the political situation of the country. Poland was occupied by four different invaders which resulted in disappearance of the country from the world map for over the 100 years. The artists were highly influence by the Western European Romantics. The propagation of freedom, fantasy and imagination were the most featured ideas of that period. Many artists were forced to work abroad because of the political situation in the country. Their works served a purpose to keep the national spirit of the citizens who struggled to regain the Independence of the country. The most famous artist was Adam Mickiewicz and his verse epic “Pan Tadeusz” where he describes his love to land and people of his native country.
Romanticism is often understood as a set of new cultural and aesthetic values. It might be taken to include the rise of individualism, as seen by the cult of the artistic genius that was a prominent feature in the Romantic worship of Shakespeare and in the poetry of Wordsworth, to take only two examples; a new emphasis on common language and the depiction of apparently everyday experiences; and experimentation with new, non-classical artistic forms. Romanticism also strongly valued the past. Old forms were valued; ruins were sentimentalized as iconic of the action of Nature on the works of man, and mythic and legendary material which would previously have been seen as "low" culture became a common basis for works of "high" art and literature.
Work cited:
Thackeray, William Makepeace. "May Gambols; or, Titmarsh on the Picture Galleries." Ballads and Miscellanies. (Volume 13 in the "Biographical Edition" of Works.) London: Smith Elder, 1899. 419-445.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanticism, accessed on November 28, 2006
traumwerk.stanford.edu, accessed on November 28, 2006
www.en.utexas.edu, accessed on November 28, 2006
Chalk Cliffs on Rugen (1818), Casper David Friedrich
This picture represents nature domination over human. The artists purposely presents few figures whose sizes are minimized to over power the idea how people are small in front of those white picks of maintains.
“Saturn Devouring One of his Sons” by Francisco Goya.
He was one of the most famous Spanish painters during Romanticism. In this painting he presents Saturn as a figure of Time, which consumes us all. We can’t run away from it. The scene purposely is over dramatized with cannibalism aspect in order to represent Goya’s view of world were there is terror, violence, and horror.
William Blake Richmond British
Blake the firm line is the visual sign of firm intention - Romanticism - Criticized on Enlightenment principles, romantic art would seem to be obsessed with trying to find new things to say and new ways of saying them, at the expense of abiding truths and what Reynolds calls "the world's opinion" - Blake's idea of originality is the deep originality of human personality expressed in works of art that perfectly unite conception and execution -Originality of personality is perfect integrity of personality, not feeling but wholeness
William Turner - Rain, Steam and Speed
He was one of the artists who was particularly attracted to sublime. This picture is an oil painting of a fire that he observed from a distance. This painting is strongly associated with Industrial Revolution which rapidly was evolving; therefore through bright light you recognize coming from the far a machine (train).
The Romanticism in Poland was a distinct period because of the political situation of the country. Poland was occupied by four different invaders which resulted in disappearance of the country from the world map for over the 100 years. The artists were highly influence by the Western European Romantics. The propagation of freedom, fantasy and imagination were the most featured ideas of that period. Many artists were forced to work abroad because of the political situation in the country. Their works served a purpose to keep the national spirit of the citizens who struggled to regain the Independence of the country. The most famous artist was Adam Mickiewicz and his verse epic “Pan Tadeusz” where he describes his love to land and people of his native country.
Romanticism is often understood as a set of new cultural and aesthetic values. It might be taken to include the rise of individualism, as seen by the cult of the artistic genius that was a prominent feature in the Romantic worship of Shakespeare and in the poetry of Wordsworth, to take only two examples; a new emphasis on common language and the depiction of apparently everyday experiences; and experimentation with new, non-classical artistic forms. Romanticism also strongly valued the past. Old forms were valued; ruins were sentimentalized as iconic of the action of Nature on the works of man, and mythic and legendary material which would previously have been seen as "low" culture became a common basis for works of "high" art and literature.
Work cited:
Thackeray, William Makepeace. "May Gambols; or, Titmarsh on the Picture Galleries." Ballads and Miscellanies. (Volume 13 in the "Biographical Edition" of Works.) London: Smith Elder, 1899. 419-445.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanticism, accessed on November 28, 2006
traumwerk.stanford.edu, accessed on November 28, 2006
www.en.utexas.edu, accessed on November 28, 2006
New Project!!!
I'm still working out the bugs, but the maiden voyage of http://mystudentswork.blogspot.com is about to disembark tonight. Yay!
11.24.2006
Home Again
And glad to be. K picked me up at the airport. Good to be in my house, see the girls. It was in the low 60's here today. I flung open the windows as soon as we got back here and kept them open until well after dark. A pleasant afternoon.
I've closely planned the next 10 days in order to wrap up this semester. I'm ready. I did make it easier on myself for today, scheduling only to grade CTU's first DB tonight. Tomorrow, I will pack my bag and head to the library.
I've had the afternoon to relax. Watched Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. It's a must-see, folks. Click on the link to access additional information and an educator's guide. Time for some laundry and a couple hours' work before bed.
Tomorrow, pix and a story. I had a run-in with some wildlife back in Rhode Island. Stay tuned!
I've closely planned the next 10 days in order to wrap up this semester. I'm ready. I did make it easier on myself for today, scheduling only to grade CTU's first DB tonight. Tomorrow, I will pack my bag and head to the library.
I've had the afternoon to relax. Watched Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. It's a must-see, folks. Click on the link to access additional information and an educator's guide. Time for some laundry and a couple hours' work before bed.
Tomorrow, pix and a story. I had a run-in with some wildlife back in Rhode Island. Stay tuned!
11.20.2006
Heading Out of Town
I booked a 7:30 am flight for tomorrow.
These always seem like SUCH a good idea when you book them. I spent more on DVDs this week than I did on a plane ticket home. But that's another story. When you get a good deal, non-stop flights, good prices . . . you take it.
The hook is that 7:30 NEVER sounds as early as it REALLY is --- until the night BEFORE the 7:30 am flight.
*sigh*
There is much to do, and little motivation to do it. And frankly, little need. It'll work out. There's a lot going on, but it's also almost Thanksgiving. And I'm a little maudlin and grateful this time of year. My work schedule is never busier than it is in November, and yet in the absolute height and depth and breadth of all of it, of life, I can still say yeah. I'm thankful.
So I'm trying to set some realistic expectations. Negotiating the offers and options for Spring. Looking ahead to the next career move. Making some time for fun and friends and family.
Keeping the ball in play.
The cab will be here at 5:45. It's now 9:18.
Allllllllll good.
These always seem like SUCH a good idea when you book them. I spent more on DVDs this week than I did on a plane ticket home. But that's another story. When you get a good deal, non-stop flights, good prices . . . you take it.
The hook is that 7:30 NEVER sounds as early as it REALLY is --- until the night BEFORE the 7:30 am flight.
*sigh*
There is much to do, and little motivation to do it. And frankly, little need. It'll work out. There's a lot going on, but it's also almost Thanksgiving. And I'm a little maudlin and grateful this time of year. My work schedule is never busier than it is in November, and yet in the absolute height and depth and breadth of all of it, of life, I can still say yeah. I'm thankful.
So I'm trying to set some realistic expectations. Negotiating the offers and options for Spring. Looking ahead to the next career move. Making some time for fun and friends and family.
Keeping the ball in play.
The cab will be here at 5:45. It's now 9:18.
Allllllllll good.
11.19.2006
Rock it OUT
Ok, it's Sunday, November 19. Time to bust out the Covey.
Even though Thanksgiving is just days away and my inclination is to relax, I cannot. The semester is ending, and fast. I'm plotting deadlines and scheduling tasks, establishing a plan so I can get it all done.
The good news is the bad news: It's all going to be over sooner than one thinks.
Even though Thanksgiving is just days away and my inclination is to relax, I cannot. The semester is ending, and fast. I'm plotting deadlines and scheduling tasks, establishing a plan so I can get it all done.
The good news is the bad news: It's all going to be over sooner than one thinks.
11.18.2006
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE!!!! 40-60% OFF!
Ah, the siren song of a sale.
I'd heard weeks ago that Tower Records was going out of business. It looks like the digital age has claimed another victim. We can get our media in cheaper and more direct ways than the storefront in this day and age.
I'd been intending to stop in and see what they had. I use a lot of films in my teaching. Students today are a wired generation. Their media and visual literacy skills are, by-and-large, much stronger than their reading skills. Beyond that, the medium to which they respond best is televisual. Hands down.
So I went a little nuts, thanks to Mr.-40%-off-on-all-DVDs sale. I did get a Christmas gift and a copy of "Dark Side of the Moon" for myself. Other than that, though, it was all DVDs for school:
Documentaries
I'd heard weeks ago that Tower Records was going out of business. It looks like the digital age has claimed another victim. We can get our media in cheaper and more direct ways than the storefront in this day and age.
I'd been intending to stop in and see what they had. I use a lot of films in my teaching. Students today are a wired generation. Their media and visual literacy skills are, by-and-large, much stronger than their reading skills. Beyond that, the medium to which they respond best is televisual. Hands down.
So I went a little nuts, thanks to Mr.-40%-off-on-all-DVDs sale. I did get a Christmas gift and a copy of "Dark Side of the Moon" for myself. Other than that, though, it was all DVDs for school:
Documentaries
- Contact 1, 2, &3: Interviews with photographers about their work in a three-part series
- Hijacked: Sept. 6, 1970, Palestinian Freedom Fighters hijacked 4 planes. Film charts progress and evolution of "terrorism" over the last few decades
- Death in Gaza: Similar theme about child martyrs. In an interesting turn, the filmmaker is killed by an Israeli soldier during filming
- 24 Hours on Craigslist: A trenche de vie from one of the most ubiquitous online communities today. Had to get this for the cultural value
- The Boys of Baraka: Streetwise 12-year-olds in Baltimore are sent to a boys' boarding school in Kenya
- Born into Brothels: Academy Award winner in 2004, this film documents children of prostitutes living and working in Calcutta's red light district
- Bowling for Columbine: This film risks being a little dated, but it unfolds in such a thought-provoking manner that I've used it successfully in classes before. I think it holds up.
Cinema
- Maria Full of Grace: Pregnant 17-year old smuggles cocaine in her stomach for passage to the US. A subtle indictment of international trade and inequality, and of the poverty that limits womens' choices.
- The Sea Inside: 2004's Best Foreign Language Film, this is based on the true story of a Spanish man who fought a 30-year "right to die" battle. Good for ethics debates.
- Black Girl: Ousmane Sembene's 1966 New Wave film about decolonization. Seminal African cinema
- Tsotsi: 2005's Best Foreign Language Film. A boy in South Africa steals a car and is changed by the chain of events that unfold
- Abouna: Two young men in Chad set out to find their father. Youth, culture, and some nice-looking photography.
I tend to choose Academy Award winners and nominees because, quite frankly, the distinction of the Awards helps give credibility to these films as valid pedagogical tools. I mean, if "It's Hard out Here for a Pimp" didn't win the Academy Award for Best Song from 2005's Hustle & Flow, I might run into some trouble using the song and the film in my courses.
Pats came with me to Tower, God bless her, and she pointed out that I picked some heavy subject matter. My students commented on the same thing when I showed them documentaries about the World Trade Center and Pompeii back to back. I don't mean to be depressing. But I do want students to be exposed to things that make them think. Sometimes it's the big ugly issues or events that provoke one to stop and think.
You will also notice that the cinema section is completely foreign. This is done not quite on purpose, but it's a happy accident. Subtitles are good for the soul!
And yes, I did spend a fair amount of tax-deductible dough on these materials. But honestly, I will make academic hay from these DVDs for a long time. I will use most of these in several contexts, either as a student or as a teacher. It's nice to get an infusion of new material in time for me to take it in and to start doing some planning for upcoming courses.
I think I'll go curl up on the couch and start screening.
New Holstein
In July, 2005, I met up with Amity at the Experimental Aircraft Association event in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. We camped with the Piper Cub enthusiasts under the wings of their planes at the public airport in a little town called New Holstein on the other side of the lake. The top pic is a Cub flying in the morning. The bottom picture is from a slideshow about Cubs that a group watched that evening.
11.16.2006
I hate change
Yes, I'm talking to YOU, Blogger.
Ok, fine. You upgraded. Ok, fine. It's a beta test. I'm techie enough to understand that there will be bugs. Bugs are a part of progress.
But I will have you know that prior to all this Google malarkey, you and Flickr had a very good relationship. You two used to communicate so effortlessly, allowing me to go from uploading photos to blogging them in just a few clicks.
I am sorely disappointed that now, all of a sudden, my new Google log-in appears to be incompatible with the Flickr "Blog This" settings. I have been plagued with errors on the Flickr side when I try to blog my pix. According to Blogger, this is because Flickr needs to upgrade or something. Flickr, according to their help files, seems blissfully unaware of this.
And don't give me the tech support standard line. I checked and rechecked all the settings. I booted and rebooted. It ain't me, babe.
Please, Blogger, don't play Britney to Flickr's K-Fed. Clearly the two of you are not on the same page. Reconcile these seemingly "irreconcilable differences." You two kids had a good thing going there.
If nothing else, think of the children.
Fix this!
NOW!
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jessica Beagan
Ok, fine. You upgraded. Ok, fine. It's a beta test. I'm techie enough to understand that there will be bugs. Bugs are a part of progress.
But I will have you know that prior to all this Google malarkey, you and Flickr had a very good relationship. You two used to communicate so effortlessly, allowing me to go from uploading photos to blogging them in just a few clicks.
I am sorely disappointed that now, all of a sudden, my new Google log-in appears to be incompatible with the Flickr "Blog This" settings. I have been plagued with errors on the Flickr side when I try to blog my pix. According to Blogger, this is because Flickr needs to upgrade or something. Flickr, according to their help files, seems blissfully unaware of this.
And don't give me the tech support standard line. I checked and rechecked all the settings. I booted and rebooted. It ain't me, babe.
Please, Blogger, don't play Britney to Flickr's K-Fed. Clearly the two of you are not on the same page. Reconcile these seemingly "irreconcilable differences." You two kids had a good thing going there.
If nothing else, think of the children.
Fix this!
NOW!
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jessica Beagan
me & rococo & amity beane
Am & I are trying to break the internet. Coco is thinking she looks FABULOUS.
Another turn
I just finished two live chats, online, back to back, for a new term at CTU. It's exhausting, but it feels good to accomplish them. The course I teach is supposed to be going through some changes in time for January, so that is hopeful.
Also, I signed on to teach two sections of a humanities course on Philosophy at RMC for the Winter Quarter. It's a new course for me, but two sections means that I can prep once and deliver twice. I live for that kind of efficiency.
I love the changeability of the academic life. Nothing lasts for too long, and the beginnings and endings of various terms feel like hyper-accelerated seasons. There is always something new and different to explore, new students to meet, new ideas to share and learn.
It suits me rather well.
Also, I signed on to teach two sections of a humanities course on Philosophy at RMC for the Winter Quarter. It's a new course for me, but two sections means that I can prep once and deliver twice. I live for that kind of efficiency.
I love the changeability of the academic life. Nothing lasts for too long, and the beginnings and endings of various terms feel like hyper-accelerated seasons. There is always something new and different to explore, new students to meet, new ideas to share and learn.
It suits me rather well.
11.14.2006
Set
Amity has been scanning like a fiend. She has this amazing all-in-one printer/scanner/copier/fax. I have an old scanner in the closet from 2001 that takes up space and has long since stopped earning the space it's taking up. She flies through scanning images to a memory card and then downloads them.
Back in 2000, I wrote her a letter on some stationery my aunt brought me from Florence. It was machine printed with a very pale marbled paper pattern. Amity loves marbling paper, and it's a technique I remember her working on in Machias.
At any rate, she scanned the inside of the envelope. I did some rudimentary retouching in Microsoft Picture Manager, the PBR of photo editing software. I'm going to tweak a few versions of this to see if I like any of them for my website, which is under construction now at www.jessicabeagan.com
Click on This!!
UMM! 1999, baby!
The graduates: some girl Beth, Am in the middle, me on the right. We just riffed on "add notes" in Flickr. Created a little photostory narrative, adding comments. Fun, collective culture-making.
Click this pic to see the story.
Mulder and Scully Ain't Nothin' but Mammals . . .
So yesterday I am in DeKalb, Illinois. With all due respect to Northern Illinois University and what I am sure are the good people of DeKalb, I hate that town. It reminds me of the worst of Iowa City, but with 20% of the charm. And if you've been to Iowa City, you know that there isn't a ton of charm to start. Again, not hell on earth, certainly. Just NOT my kind of towns.
So yesterday I am in DeKalb, Illinois. Out there, my favorite Chicagoland radio stations begin to lose their frequency. I am trying to find parking near Gabel Hall, and a song comes on Q101: Now on Shuffle . . . . "The Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang. Set your wayback machines to around 2000 and you'll remember a filthy one-hit wonder involving a dizzying number of pop culture references and a bunch of guys in monkey suits in the video. It's the song with the chorus about the Discovery Channel. You with me now?
So in "The Bad Touch" is a line about a sexual position, and how it's useful for both people being able to watch the X-Files. So I think, "wow, I miss the X-Files." And then I wonder if the show happens to be on in syndication.
Well, last night I get home from DeKalb, and a very nice event for the visitors from Taiwan, when I find the X-Files on TNT. Yay!
I am excited. So much so in fact that I stayed up until 4 am watching what turned out to be an X-Files marathon! Yay! But what looked like a gift from the universe, via the Bloodhound Gang & TNT, turned out to be a curse. I should have known. I couldn't shut off the damned X-Files!
I actually turned the TV off at 3 am and tried to sleep for an hour before I was successful, so perhaps I shouldn't blame Mulder and Scully. It was just so nice to be able to take in a little bit of the mid-nineties. Watching the X-Files with Burkie and Head and Debbie. Laughing about their GIGANTIC proto-cell phones, the ones that always, miraculously, had reception. Th clothes, the drama, the goo. The will-they-or-won't-they sexual tension. Mmmm.
So now I've had 4 hours of sleep. But aren't somethings just too good to NOT stay up all night?
So yesterday I am in DeKalb, Illinois. Out there, my favorite Chicagoland radio stations begin to lose their frequency. I am trying to find parking near Gabel Hall, and a song comes on Q101: Now on Shuffle . . . . "The Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang. Set your wayback machines to around 2000 and you'll remember a filthy one-hit wonder involving a dizzying number of pop culture references and a bunch of guys in monkey suits in the video. It's the song with the chorus about the Discovery Channel. You with me now?
So in "The Bad Touch" is a line about a sexual position, and how it's useful for both people being able to watch the X-Files. So I think, "wow, I miss the X-Files." And then I wonder if the show happens to be on in syndication.
Well, last night I get home from DeKalb, and a very nice event for the visitors from Taiwan, when I find the X-Files on TNT. Yay!
I am excited. So much so in fact that I stayed up until 4 am watching what turned out to be an X-Files marathon! Yay! But what looked like a gift from the universe, via the Bloodhound Gang & TNT, turned out to be a curse. I should have known. I couldn't shut off the damned X-Files!
I actually turned the TV off at 3 am and tried to sleep for an hour before I was successful, so perhaps I shouldn't blame Mulder and Scully. It was just so nice to be able to take in a little bit of the mid-nineties. Watching the X-Files with Burkie and Head and Debbie. Laughing about their GIGANTIC proto-cell phones, the ones that always, miraculously, had reception. Th clothes, the drama, the goo. The will-they-or-won't-they sexual tension. Mmmm.
So now I've had 4 hours of sleep. But aren't somethings just too good to NOT stay up all night?
11.12.2006
Waiting at the Laundry
Amity was having alterations. I was just minding the shop. Sosua, DR. April 2006
Boy outside Eddy's Bar
Taking a break from selling eggs to watch a football match. Sosua, DR. April 2006
UWESO Fundraiser RMC
Self portrait of the sign I made for the Rummage Sale. RMC Lake County, Sept. 16, 2006
UWESO Fundraiser RMC
Students from ENG 225 advertising the Rummage Sale, Sept. 16 at RMC Lake County. Students raised over $1400 to beneft Ugandan Women's Efforts to Save Orphans (UWESO). They learned of UWESO and the orphan crisis in Uganda from Abbas Kiarostami's documentary ABC Africa.
*sigh*
Well, the work caught up to me. In every procrastinator's life, there is an eleventh hour. My latest feat? Thursday night. Three sections of final grades due for online. Deadline? noon Friday. Behind a couple assignments.
So. I went out, got home, worked, slept, and worked. And got it done.
With THREE WHOLE MINUTES to spare.
11:57!
YES!
Some people race cars. Others jump out of airplanes. I ride the academic lightning, baby.
Whew.
I took a nap.
I then crammed a month's worth of Saturday class into 24 hours, including spending 9-5 in a classroom yesterday. Pats came over for wine and fruit and cheese and decompression time last night. We ate huge hot fudge sundaes because we should.
Then I slept for twelve hours.
mmmm.
And today, there are errands to run . . . .
Eh.
I'll get 'em done.
So. I went out, got home, worked, slept, and worked. And got it done.
With THREE WHOLE MINUTES to spare.
11:57!
YES!
Some people race cars. Others jump out of airplanes. I ride the academic lightning, baby.
Whew.
I took a nap.
I then crammed a month's worth of Saturday class into 24 hours, including spending 9-5 in a classroom yesterday. Pats came over for wine and fruit and cheese and decompression time last night. We ate huge hot fudge sundaes because we should.
Then I slept for twelve hours.
mmmm.
And today, there are errands to run . . . .
Eh.
I'll get 'em done.
11.08.2006
Grits, Anyone?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15585515/
This summer I was involved in a bar conversation with three friends. We were debating leaving Bandito Barney's on two motorcycles en route to a Waffle House in Nashville in order to settle a bet about grits. Or maybe it was chicken-fried steak. At any rate, the road trip was tabled in favor of me calling a Waffle House in Nashville to answer the question.
I don't remember the bet, or if it were Marwan or Patricia who won. But I do suspect that, knowing us, our road trip might very well have turned out similarly. Minus the choking and cocaine, of course.
This summer I was involved in a bar conversation with three friends. We were debating leaving Bandito Barney's on two motorcycles en route to a Waffle House in Nashville in order to settle a bet about grits. Or maybe it was chicken-fried steak. At any rate, the road trip was tabled in favor of me calling a Waffle House in Nashville to answer the question.
I don't remember the bet, or if it were Marwan or Patricia who won. But I do suspect that, knowing us, our road trip might very well have turned out similarly. Minus the choking and cocaine, of course.
11.06.2006
Blingy thing
I treated myself to a new ring. I loved it when I saw it yesterday, but I waited to see if I really wanted it. I couldn't stop thinking of it last night so I went back for it this morning. It's a citrine set in white gold and ringed with smaller citrines. Very blingy, I know. But I love big signature pieces with loads of personality. Quelle surprise. The best part though was that I got a great deal on it. What would have been well over a grand was instead just a few hundred dollars ---significantly less.
Cram-bam-thank-you-ma'am
I've literally had 5 weeks to do my midterm take-home multiple choice exam for my "Intro to Education Research" class. I hate statistics, so I can't say this is a course to which I run excitedly. The best by-product of it so far is that I know that I am most DEFINITELY a qualitative-research person. Of course, the first 3/4ths of the class are quantitative, with a lot of big scary formulas I can't talk my way into or out of. I hate math.
Given all of this, now throw in my tragic flaw: Procrastination. In the Aristotelian-style tragedy-version of my life, I will be brought down not as Hamlet by indecisiveness or Macbeth by hubris (it was hubris that got Macbeth, right?). No, Beagan will bring about her own demise because she waited just that tiny bit too long and couldn't pull that one last thing out of the fire.
Into this situation I awoke around 6 am today. The sun was not yet up, a steady rain was falling, and I was contemplating how to kill Rococo for having woken me up two hours before the alarm. Sparing her young life (for now) I got up, chatted online, and smoked. At 8 am, I decided I might take a look at that mid-term, since it was due at 3 pm.
Upon doing so, I instantly panicked. I had three packets with dozens of multiple choice questions, covering Chapters 1-14. I might have read up to Chapter 6, but that's a generous estimate. And of course the content I haven't read covers all these statistics and other information about which I know nothing. My first impulse was flight, and I began to weigh out the benefits of just dropping out of the Ed.D. program altogether and switching on "The View." But Amity kicked my ass a little, and I also realized rather quickly that it was ONLY a test. I had the book. I had a couple hours. I had a nearly-full pack of American Spirits.
So I hit it, and in less than three hours skimmed the chapters and answered the questions. I still don't know shit about Education Research, but there's time for that I suppose. I want to be frustrated that my test score will probably be an A, despite the fact that I don't know shit about Education Research. But the test is done at least --- even if it only assesses that, after spending 79% of my life in school, I know how to do the research in a text in order to pass a test.
Now, for the tap-dancing part. I'm quite sure I had a paper due today too.
*sigh*
And I think at this point I even missed "The View."
Given all of this, now throw in my tragic flaw: Procrastination. In the Aristotelian-style tragedy-version of my life, I will be brought down not as Hamlet by indecisiveness or Macbeth by hubris (it was hubris that got Macbeth, right?). No, Beagan will bring about her own demise because she waited just that tiny bit too long and couldn't pull that one last thing out of the fire.
Into this situation I awoke around 6 am today. The sun was not yet up, a steady rain was falling, and I was contemplating how to kill Rococo for having woken me up two hours before the alarm. Sparing her young life (for now) I got up, chatted online, and smoked. At 8 am, I decided I might take a look at that mid-term, since it was due at 3 pm.
Upon doing so, I instantly panicked. I had three packets with dozens of multiple choice questions, covering Chapters 1-14. I might have read up to Chapter 6, but that's a generous estimate. And of course the content I haven't read covers all these statistics and other information about which I know nothing. My first impulse was flight, and I began to weigh out the benefits of just dropping out of the Ed.D. program altogether and switching on "The View." But Amity kicked my ass a little, and I also realized rather quickly that it was ONLY a test. I had the book. I had a couple hours. I had a nearly-full pack of American Spirits.
So I hit it, and in less than three hours skimmed the chapters and answered the questions. I still don't know shit about Education Research, but there's time for that I suppose. I want to be frustrated that my test score will probably be an A, despite the fact that I don't know shit about Education Research. But the test is done at least --- even if it only assesses that, after spending 79% of my life in school, I know how to do the research in a text in order to pass a test.
Now, for the tap-dancing part. I'm quite sure I had a paper due today too.
*sigh*
And I think at this point I even missed "The View."
11.04.2006
The Hepburn Trinity
Sabrina: Daddy's Little Girl
Roman Holiday: Fun, Vespa-dventures with a hunky Gregory Peck
Breakfast at Tiffanys: Jaded and gorgeous
B @ T wins out for Holly Golightly having a cat named "Cat" --- because she doesn't want to own him or him to own her. And because she redeems herself, quite literally her self, at the end.
Roman Holiday: Fun, Vespa-dventures with a hunky Gregory Peck
Breakfast at Tiffanys: Jaded and gorgeous
B @ T wins out for Holly Golightly having a cat named "Cat" --- because she doesn't want to own him or him to own her. And because she redeems herself, quite literally her self, at the end.
Laundry Day
The down comforter is in a heap on the couch. Rococo found a little hovel and took a nap.
Innocence & Worldliness
Chatting with Amity on Skype this morning:
We're talking about children, and why people have them. And at what point in our lives to have them; when, like us, we are privileged enough to be able to choose. (Thank you Margaret Sanger). I think that as adults, we choose to have children to help bring us back from too much worldliness. We all start out as innocent, but the years and the stimulus piles up. Children bring us back to that sense of balance, so we can be balanced adults.
And I'm starting to understand how devastating it is to lose one's innocence. We don't mourn it in ourselves because we are too determined to grow up. Plus, we have no idea at the time (usually) that we are even losing it, or that there is even an extraordinary value to innocence. But I think it's somewhat crushing to watch the loss of this in a child, from the point of view of adulthood. The infant we held in their first breaths and moments, now buffeted by all those things that shape us and never leave us the same again.
This got us thinking of also of creativity, in addition to procreativity. Amity said that she thinks the experience of doing my MFA totally burned me out to the creative side of myself. This is the side she knew of me in college, the side that caused me to burn brightly and see the world, dare I say, with a bit of innocence. Iowa, and now Chicago, are the worldliness in me. I can never erase these experiences, but I'm seeing where I can come back around again.
I need to find those lenses that will allow to come into focus the new years of worldliness with a little of the freshness and energy I had before them. It's not about having children, however. Not yet. But I suspect that I need to reorient myself to the innocence in me before I'm truly able to come around to nurturing and protecting the innocence in others.
We're talking about children, and why people have them. And at what point in our lives to have them; when, like us, we are privileged enough to be able to choose. (Thank you Margaret Sanger). I think that as adults, we choose to have children to help bring us back from too much worldliness. We all start out as innocent, but the years and the stimulus piles up. Children bring us back to that sense of balance, so we can be balanced adults.
And I'm starting to understand how devastating it is to lose one's innocence. We don't mourn it in ourselves because we are too determined to grow up. Plus, we have no idea at the time (usually) that we are even losing it, or that there is even an extraordinary value to innocence. But I think it's somewhat crushing to watch the loss of this in a child, from the point of view of adulthood. The infant we held in their first breaths and moments, now buffeted by all those things that shape us and never leave us the same again.
This got us thinking of also of creativity, in addition to procreativity. Amity said that she thinks the experience of doing my MFA totally burned me out to the creative side of myself. This is the side she knew of me in college, the side that caused me to burn brightly and see the world, dare I say, with a bit of innocence. Iowa, and now Chicago, are the worldliness in me. I can never erase these experiences, but I'm seeing where I can come back around again.
I need to find those lenses that will allow to come into focus the new years of worldliness with a little of the freshness and energy I had before them. It's not about having children, however. Not yet. But I suspect that I need to reorient myself to the innocence in me before I'm truly able to come around to nurturing and protecting the innocence in others.
11.02.2006
The Swing
The most perfect little shoe in the history of painting. This is "The Swing" by Jean-Honore Fragonard, painted in 1766. According to Laurie Schneider Adams, the Baron de Saint-Julien commissioned the portrait. He's the voyeur in the bushes, looking up the skirt of his mistress, who is painted in all her youthful erotic glory on the swing. The painting is classic Rococo, with its naughty aristocrats behaving scandalously. The cherub with his finger over his lips and the public/privateness of the complicit servant pulling the strings on the swing in a secret garden add to the tension in the painting.
And of course, there is her spontaneous, reckless shoe. Not only does this gorgeous and fashionable young woman glide through the air, she is the center of the universe in all her powerful sexuality. She commands the attention of the men. She is the locus of light and heat and energy. We see her captured at the furthest point forward in her glide, her skirts fluttering, her stockinged-legs bared, and her shoe sailing off into the bushes. One can imagine where this is going, right down to that servant on his hands and knees looking for that Manolo Blahnik in the undergrowth.
Hands down, this is my favorite painting. Althought they were decadent wastrels, you gotta hand it to the French aristocrats during the 18th century. I don't blame the masses for rising up and chopping off their heads in 1789-1793. But seriously, wouldn't YOU want to have been them? I can remember worshipping the sex and money and privilege and dresses of the Petit Trianon set as a kid, all partying like there was no tomorrow.
Until there was no tomorrow.
*sigh*
Still, even if we view this as a vanitas painting, which it most certainly does remind one of the passage of time, it still has that quality of eternal youth, of passion and lust and energy. I want to take that energy with me to my last breath, to the grave. And it will be a very very very long time from now. Sure, someday there isn't a tomorrow for any of us.
But like Supergrass wrote, "Life is a cigarette you smoke till the end."
11.01.2006
John Henry
I will not sleep until P2IP1 is graded. I want to do P3IP1, but I think that's pushing it. But we'll see. I anticipate seeing the sun rise if I do. I have to get to Waukegan to teach for noon, and then prep for my 7 pm. Tomorrow would be hell, but I could sleep it off in less than 24 hours.
I need to do this.
I resigned my assistantship on Monday, as of November 15. That will be a huge weight off. Now I wish I could drop one of the three courses I'm taking, but I think it's too late. After I barrel through this last week of the term at CTU, and FINALLY put this damned grading to bed, I'll be down to two sections there instead of three next term. I think I can handle all of that and MAYBE even pull this semester out of the fire as a student.
However, I had a frustrating interaction via email with one of my instructors today. I know that she means well, but she sent a rather scolding email about my having missed class on Saturday without giving her any notice. I don't need to be scolded, and I told her that. I also explained myself, and that I accept the consequences of not being there. I don't want to rehash the whole thing, but it's another indication that I'm not only beyond over-committed, but that I'm dropping the ball all over the place. And I hate that. I'm sure all of this leads to my being demotivated, which only exacerbates the problems even more. Grr.
However, the B or C I get in that class will be worth it. See, I'm realizing, through several lessons the universe is sending me all at once, that certain themes will always recur until you FINALLY just address them already. For instance, I had to chill out behind the wheel. Three speeding tickets, an accident, and a major system failure in my Hyundai --- all within about 5 weeks --- finally got that through to me. Thank you, Universe!
I'm also learning that I have some serious baggage related to past relationships. Now, I know you're thinking, "Right, Beagan, who doesn't?" And yes, I agree that it is impossible to hit the age of 25 and not bear some battle scars. But what I haven't been able to see is just how many patterns just keep repeating themselves. I'm also complete rubbish when it comes to talking about any of that, which frustrates me intensely. I like to think of myself as pretty articulate, but I just don't have words about the most important things and it's been challenging lately. Thank you, K!
And finally, the workload. I keep thinking of the legend of John Henry, the steel-drivin' man. He's the guy who went head-to-head with some steam-powered hammer in constructing a railroad line. He beat the machine, but the story goes that his heart exploded at the finish line.
He won. But he died.
F@*k that, my friends.
I ain't no steel-drivin' man.
So maybe all I'll get is P2IP1 done tonight. Then tomorrow I can stay up late again for P3IP1. Maybe I'll get a C instead of a B in some of these classes. My current 4.0 GPA will sustain me. Again, f@*k it, both the classes and the GPA. What good is it if I'm miserable, exhausted, and strung out? I don't need to do this!
I wonder if John Henry had the same thought as he was driving those spikes.
Or, as his body failed?
I need to do this.
I resigned my assistantship on Monday, as of November 15. That will be a huge weight off. Now I wish I could drop one of the three courses I'm taking, but I think it's too late. After I barrel through this last week of the term at CTU, and FINALLY put this damned grading to bed, I'll be down to two sections there instead of three next term. I think I can handle all of that and MAYBE even pull this semester out of the fire as a student.
However, I had a frustrating interaction via email with one of my instructors today. I know that she means well, but she sent a rather scolding email about my having missed class on Saturday without giving her any notice. I don't need to be scolded, and I told her that. I also explained myself, and that I accept the consequences of not being there. I don't want to rehash the whole thing, but it's another indication that I'm not only beyond over-committed, but that I'm dropping the ball all over the place. And I hate that. I'm sure all of this leads to my being demotivated, which only exacerbates the problems even more. Grr.
However, the B or C I get in that class will be worth it. See, I'm realizing, through several lessons the universe is sending me all at once, that certain themes will always recur until you FINALLY just address them already. For instance, I had to chill out behind the wheel. Three speeding tickets, an accident, and a major system failure in my Hyundai --- all within about 5 weeks --- finally got that through to me. Thank you, Universe!
I'm also learning that I have some serious baggage related to past relationships. Now, I know you're thinking, "Right, Beagan, who doesn't?" And yes, I agree that it is impossible to hit the age of 25 and not bear some battle scars. But what I haven't been able to see is just how many patterns just keep repeating themselves. I'm also complete rubbish when it comes to talking about any of that, which frustrates me intensely. I like to think of myself as pretty articulate, but I just don't have words about the most important things and it's been challenging lately. Thank you, K!
And finally, the workload. I keep thinking of the legend of John Henry, the steel-drivin' man. He's the guy who went head-to-head with some steam-powered hammer in constructing a railroad line. He beat the machine, but the story goes that his heart exploded at the finish line.
He won. But he died.
F@*k that, my friends.
I ain't no steel-drivin' man.
So maybe all I'll get is P2IP1 done tonight. Then tomorrow I can stay up late again for P3IP1. Maybe I'll get a C instead of a B in some of these classes. My current 4.0 GPA will sustain me. Again, f@*k it, both the classes and the GPA. What good is it if I'm miserable, exhausted, and strung out? I don't need to do this!
I wonder if John Henry had the same thought as he was driving those spikes.
Or, as his body failed?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
